My Feet Are Cold

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T12:19:00.000-08:00

In 2011 I...

Came back to Arizona from Iceland/Boston/Chicago/Houston/Oklahoma
Finished my 6th semester at Northern Arizona Univeristy
Withdrew from NAU due to financial difficulties and loss of program support
Moved to Oklahoma
Worked for Walmart in Oklahoma in an effort to save up money so I can go to OU
Moved to New York instead
Got Married!!
Spent New Years in Times Square

In 2012 I want to...

Move out of New York
Always have a book in progress
Lose 20-60 lbs
Have my first child/Plan for my first child
Throw a big party on December 20th
Sew more
Go see my family and friends in Arizona (Jakob comes back in February!!)
Go to the UK to see friends I met in Iceland
Go see my family in Oklahoma

We'll see how it goes!

I Have Waited My Whole Life, For This One Night

2011-12-22T07:22:00.000-08:00

If you know me the least bit well, you know that I love a good conspiracy. I love mystery and intrigue and ancient relics, whether they claim host to proof of aliens, proof that the Book of Mormon is real, or the real date of the end of the world.

So yes, here it is: my official December 21st 2012 blog post.

Do I believe that the world is definitively going to end on December 21, 2012? No. But I'm not going to lie to you, that'd be kinda cool, and I will most definitely be throwing a party on the 20th just in case. And because I refuse to die without having gluten ever again: I am having something super-awesomey-gluteny. No matter what any husbands or best friends have to say about it.

I'm not going to go into detail the speculation, evidence and all the good stuff that a simple Google search can give you, but I will tell you that there is A LOT of information. Obviously, a lot of it is fake, but there are some things that are just juicy enough to make you think. I took a class about the Mayan culture and my favorite thing to read up on is the Mayan system for counting. I encourage you to read up as well, because one of the main "this is all a hoax" arguments is that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 arbitrarily, that just like we have 12 months with 30-31 days, the Mayan Calendar Round has somewhere around 19,000 days or 52 years. It's just how they kept time in light of their numerical system, rather than a significant amount of time. But then of course, the story goes that significant things have always happened when their calendar ended. You be the judge!

In any case, I have a lot of goals for this year, whether it's the last year for all of us or it's just another year. I always struggle with goal-making, but this are going good now... After an eventful 2011--which I have posted too much about but will probably still do a reflection post because it's the New Years--I am looking forward to possible an even more eventful 2012, but for all the best reasons...and just in case we all die when aliens attack or from global warming or YELLOWSTONE ERUPTING! So I want to take advantage of it and make it awesome, of course... ;)

In fact, I will end this post by making all 2 of you who read my blog super jealous: DH and I are going to Times Square for New Years this weekend!! :D So yeah, I think we'll be kicking this year off right: freezing our butts off with a billion people we don't know in one of the most commercialized places on Earth. I AM SO EXCITED!!

'Tis the Season to... Be Sick Too...

2011-11-30T12:01:00.001-08:00

I'm high on not-sleeping and Dr. Pepper--Yes, I fell off the wagon as soon as I realized we could afford a sip here and there, but my sound justification is that my husband can eat gluten and I can't. So when we eat out our conversations usually go like this:

DH (Dear Husband for those of you who are new to the internet): I'm getting this super yummy thing that is made almost entirely of stuff you can't eat and smells really great and looks awesome and yummy.
Me: Fine then, I'm getting Dr. Pepper
DH: Uhh, okay? That actually sounds good, maybe I'll have some too.

But I'm not blogging today to tell you about my bad habits, I wanted to discuss some things that have been on my mind recently...

First of all, did you know that it's ALMOST CHRISTMAS. Yeah, I know today is only the 4th, but it might as well be Christmas already because my month is filled up with decorating and... and... other stuff, I'm sure. I'm super excited for this Christmas because last year I kind of took a hiatus because I kind of needed it. I love Christmas, like any sane person would, but it came on too strong. I didn't want to spend it anywhere in particular, which had no bearing on my friends or family--it was just something I felt compelled to do. So I flew back from Iceland on December 21st, spent the night in Boston, then flew down to see my grandpa and some cousins in TX and drove up to see my grandma and aunt in Oklahoma and then flew back to AZ to be with my family.

Looking back, that feeling when I touched down in AZ after all that was incredible, even better than the feeling when my plane into Boston from Iceland touched down (after a 24+ hour delay). It represented accomplishment, strength and understanding to me--I managed to live in a foreign country illegally for four months where they ate sheep heads and sang Christmas carols backwards (not true, but if you've ever heard Icelandic it's kind of true). I was so excited to hug my parents and so excited to be in familiar surroundings. So despite "missing Christmas," I had a pretty awesome holiday season last year.

This year is going to be better. This year, I get to spend it in upstate New York, with my new husband and my recently found understanding of celiac disease. I get to decorate my own apartment and there are going to presents and new friends and a chance to come up with new traditions! It's exciting to me, I don't know how to explain it. To top it all off, we have decided to celebrate Hanukkah as well, as a way of understand and appreciating other religions and traditions. I always found the story of the oil burning for eight nights to be strangely romantic and peaceful (ever since I saw the Rugrats episode) and this year I've decided that I want to know even more, and just the fact that I am able to thrills me.

So with that being said, I'd just like to point out some other things I am grateful for, not in a "I'm not grateful for them the rest of the time" way, but rather in a "I have your attention right now because look--Christmas!" kind of way.

I love my family, both the one I am creating with my husband (seriously, having to change my Xbox Gamer Profile from "Fraleable" to "Wrileahable" was weird) and the one I have in Arizona and Oklahoma. I more than appreciate the support they all have given me this past year, and the encouragement they continue to pour onto me as I strive to make a life for myself.

I love my friends who give advice and don't judge even in the toughest of situations.

I am grateful for my country, mostly for providing an unending assortment of idiocy that reminds me why I like rocks so much.

I am grateful for faith, science and that feeling I get whenever I think about how humans have been to the moon and how we could very well be on Mars soon as well. Yes, I'm that much of a nerd.

I am grateful for the opportunities I have had in this last year to grow as a person, and to understand more fully who I am and what I want. But more on that later.

GF: Recipe for Chicken Enchiladas

2011-11-02T07:40:00.000-07:00

If this was one of those old MySpace journal entries, I would say that I am "Feeling: Winter Bear Tired" and "Listening to: Psych on Netflix." It's be a fun 24 hours... My husband had to get up at 1AM (I got to sleep in until 1:30AM) so he can do training until ungodly hours tomorrow morning (with live ammo, every wife's dream...), I mysteriously woke up yesterday with a sore throat and a head that felt like lead despite being leaky, and our dear dog peed on our bed. Again.

So all of that was the perfect storm for couch sleeping, which meant no cuddling, and we all know how much I love cuddling. It also meant that being sick was going to have to wait because my husband can't stay home to take care of me and desperately needed to sleep, so since I wasn't the one that had to be awake for 24 hours doing tactical movements in the cold, I was the one who made dinner.

Enter chicken enchiladas stage right.

I loooove these chicken enchiladas. My mom made them for me all the time, even bringing all the stuff up with her to Flagstaff on Family Weekend so she could make them for my roommate and I. I wanted some cheater Mexican food (where we live there is a severe lack of) in honor of Dia De Los Muertos (a holiday I usually celebrate more legitimately) and these fit the bill.

Chicken Enchiladas

What you need:

Baking dish

Ingredients:

Corn tortillas
Canned chicken or chicken breasts
Can of green chilies
Large can of enchilada sauce
Cheese

What do:

I used frozen chicken breasts, which I thawed, baked in the oven and then flaked with forks. If you use canned chicken, this cuts all of that work. In a bowl, I mixed the chicken with the can of green chilis and then spooned the mixture onto the corn tortillas (you may need to warm them in the microwave to get them to bend without breaking), wrapping them burrito-style but with open ends. I then lined them all up in the pan and poured the enchilada sauce over it. Easy enough, right? I baked them for about 10-15 minutes in the oven at 375 degrees F. After the 10-15 minutes I took them out, threw some cheese on top and then popped it back in to let it melt.

My husband really liked them (he may have been delirious, but he thanked me for marrying him), and as always, I enjoyed them!

One of these days I will remember to take pictures, sorry!

GF: Recipe for Salmon Cakes

2011-11-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

Eric and I have friends who like to feed us, and we happily oblige them to because they always make something tasty. So when they asked to make us dinner in repayment for babysitting we were probably too eager to agree, especially when we found out dinner was going to be from fresh salmon--finally, living in the great white north finally paid off!!

I will eventually find out what their recipe for salmon cakes are, but until then I played around with the frozen salmon fillets we had in the freezer and came up with my own! I really enjoyed them and will get back to you with my husbands opinion after dinner (he liked them, but didn't love them, and I think he drowned them in ketchup or something--I didn't take offense, cause I liked'em).

Salmon Cakes

Things you'll need:

Mixing bowl
Forks
Spoon
Frying pan

Ingredients:

Salmon fillets--I used frozen ones
1 small onion
Spicy mustard
Corn meal
Garlic
Cilantro
Brown sugar (optional)

What do:

To begin I defrosted three salmon fillets and then flaked the flesh off the skin with forks and put it in the mixing bowl. I chopped up the onion and added it to the mixture, as well as approximately a half cup of corn meal (I originally only put about a quarter cup but like it better with the half cup, add a teaspoon of water if it's not sticking) and three tablespoons of spicy mustard. I may have even added a pinch of brown sugar to balance out the mustard, but that's a matter of taste. In any case, I mixed it all up and prepared a frying pan on the oven with a layer of EVOO. I molded the salmon mixture into cakes by hand (they stuck together really well for me) and cooked them in the oil for 2-3 minutes on each side, or until about golden brown.

I served them with a little bit of mayonnaise, but the salmon cakes our friends make come with a mayo-horseradish-other stuff sauce, so you're free to experiment! I really liked them with the mayo though...

Let me now if you have a better recipe or if you try this one, I can always use tips! GF cooking is hard.

How I Made Sure My Husband Hates Make-Up

2011-11-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

So for Halloween we decided that as much as we wanted to spend copious amounts of money on costumes, we were going to do "homemade" costumes instead. Eric came up with Indiana Jones and I... kind of couldn't make up my mind. Last minute, however, we decided to stay in and pass out candy rather than going with our group, which negated the need for a costume and therefore the need for me to make a decision--HURRAH!

But I still wanted to do SOMETHING Halloween-ish, having spent last Halloween in Iceland, so when I was out buying cobwebs I remembered this tutorial! Brilliant! Mind you, when you click on her link, it'll look awesome and impressive. When you look at us, we look more goofy than terrifying. But we had fun with it! Under the blacklight and with the cobwebs (and our awesome sound CD blasting through the window) it was a spooky night! The best part was when I went to Macdonalds and a little kid dressed as Thor started yelling "I SEE A SKELETON!" His dad thought I was ICP though...fail.

So anyways, I hope y'all had a nice Halloween as well! I'm soooo looking forward to the Holiday season. Today we are celebrating Dia De Los Muertos (the best we can, at least) and soon it will be Thanksgiving--the first one with Eric and gluten-free--and then Hanukkah and Christmas!

I am so excite!

Stella Rae

2011-10-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

Introducing Stella Rae, our newest addition to the family. We also have a fish named Vurgdar II* but he's hard to photograph and mostly just swims around, you know... like fish do. There's an ongoing debate to ascertain whether fish sleep or exercise, so if you feel like weighing in you are welcome to. Stella Rae, on the other hand, has a much larger range of daily activities:

Laying on the couch
Taking half an hour to poop
Chasing squirrels
Tearing up my couch
Shadowing anyone who happens to be in the kitchen
Making sure we know she exists
Running in circles
Chewing on her rope toy
Tearing up paper products
Tearing up other things (window blinds, bathroom rug, slippers...) as punishment
Sitting outside the bedroom door and whining when mom and dad kick her out
"Hugging" daddy when he yells at the TV
Watching squirrels
Biting her tail when she forgets she has one
Curling up in mommy's lap
Farting in public
Barking at the vacuum
Growling at neighbors
Cleaning herself on my couch
Teething

She's a goofy dog, and with all of her... personality... we love her very much!! We got her from a farm upstate and at first were a little hesitant about her size and rambunctiousness, but she gets along great and is incredibly smart! We took her on a boat ride the day after we got her and she did great--she let people love on her, she curled up on the bench or in one of our laps, and didn't puke or poop on anything!

So yeah! We're parents now, proud ones even!

*I originally spelled his name "Vergdar II" but Eric insists "Barbarians don't use E's"

GF: Recipe for Hobo Chicken

2011-10-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

So this recipe has been a long time in the making. Not only did it take three weeks for this recipe to make it onto the kitchen table, but I haven't had it since I was a kid! If you've ever been a boy scout or had a parent who worked in boy scouts, you might recognize the idea. My mom was a den leader when I was a little kid (cue cute stories about me carrying the boy scouts flag in a parade one time) and this was one of the meals her scouts learned to make.

I'm convinced mine has a little more flavor, and probably takes more effort, but I really enjoyed it and I am lead to believe that my husband did too.

Hobo Chicken

What you'll need:

Foil
Roasting pan (optional)

Ingredients:

Chicken breasts
Potatoes
Carrots
Onion
Garlic, salt, other seasonings to taste...

What do:

I started out by defrosting the chicken, cutting off the fat and letting them sit in a thin layer of EVOO and some garlic herb seasoning. Then I chopped up the carrots and potatoes, put them in the roasting pan--again with a little bit of oil and garlic herb seasoning--and put them in the oven at 400 degrees. I didn't want them to be completely roasted, but I definitely wanted them cooked a bit longer than the chicken. After a couple of taste tests (I'm new to this, sorry I don't have exact times) I took the vegetables out and let them sit while I prepared the chicken in foil pockets. The foil needs to be big enough to hold the chicken and a portion of potatoes and carrots and still be able to be loosely closed. I went ahead and added some Philadelphia Cooking Creme (I got it with a coupon and had been dying to try it) in the pocket and then threw it in the oven, still at 400 degrees. I think it took like 10-20 minutes to cook fully. Then I scooped each pocket out on to it's own plate and ate it. Duh.

So yeah, probably a little more effort than needed, but I really enjoyed it. Let me know if you do too!

Gluten Free: Recipe for Awesomesauce

2011-10-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

So as I have mentioned before, I cannot eat gluten. It's actually a fairly common condition, though from what I understand fairly new on the medical scene because it is so hard to diagnose. In my case, and many others, I went misdiagnosed for years; I was sick with flu-like symptoms my entire high school career, had frequent migraines and stomach cramps, and the less glamorous afflictions like IBS and throwing up after meals. Too much information, I know, but if you have any of these symptoms or others, do some research and talk to your doctor, that's how I found out that the symptoms worsen the longer you expose your body to gluten. If you're really daring, just try cutting out gluten from your diet and see if things change! My whole life changed--I was happier, more energetic, social, lost a bunch of weight and no longer felt sick.

Being gluten free (gf) is a hard lifestyle to get used to for those who HAVE to make the change and those who don't alike. For example, just last night my husband came home with some pumpkin pie ice cream and after a whole lot of begging, he gave me a spoonful that he had carefully picked out because it didn't seem to have any pie pieces*. It did, however, have a pie piece right in the middle and I ignored him when he told me to spit it out (the last meal I had before realizing that gluten was the problem was with him on one of our very first dates--let me tell you, hacking and throwing up on a date is sooo not cool, he's been wary since) because I had been gunnin' for some gluten for a while. It didn't take 15 minutes before I found myself in the bathroom in an uncomfortable position.

Now, before you tar and feather my husband, you should know that he's always been a big support with this gluten free turnaround. He even tried it himself, but it's hard! I would admit that if I could get away with it, I wouldn't go gluten free either, but I kind of like not being sick all the damn time! But he's always good about checking the items I order at restaurants when I forget, products we buy at the grocery store or even if we eat at a friends house. And usually I never get away with the begging. The ice cream was a one time thing, and we both learned our lesson.

So anyways, long-story short, now that I am a wife and my husband--being a military man--works all day while I do fun things like blog and Facebook at home, the responsibility of cooking meals usually falls on me (though gratefully my husband likes cooking so he does it pretty regularly!!). I hate following recipes, but I like finding inspiration from recipes I find on gluten-free blogs or from meals my friends and family members tell me about, gluten free or otherwise. I thought I would blog my adaptations of these recipes (of course I'll credit!) here so that I can share meal ideas for mixed households as well as remember them for future meals... Because seriously, Mondays come around and in an effort to plan out what we need to go shop for I plan meals, and trying to figure out gluten-free food that both my husband and I will enjoy and won't cost a pretty penny is like trying to get anything for a penny these days. I need ideas, so I figure other people do too.

So feel free to comment, collect and share! Or completely ignore these posts, that's cool too.

*It's not smart to eat ANYTHING that has come into contact with gluten if you have an allergy, intolerance or Celiac Disease.

The Yin and Yang of Marriage

2011-10-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

All cards on the table: my one month wedding anniversary was October 20th. We went into town for dinner to celebrate--we're those people. I never wanted to be one of those couples who celebrate milestones like they actually mean something, until I got married and found out that they do mean something.

Marriage is hard. Don't get me wrong--it's a lot of fun too, but it's also very difficult. For Eric and I, the majority of our relationship was spent long distance--he was serving overseas or I was in Iceland, we really only had a couple months of face-time. That was the main reason why I was so hesitant with the decision to move up to New York to marry him.

But I can honest to God say that marrying Eric has been my best decision to date, let me tell you why:

1. It's nice to have someone to come home to every day who legally wants to/must listen to you complain about how cold it is outside.

2. It's awesome to have someone to cuddle with in bed, especially on those ridiculously cold days.

3. It's the best thing ever when your partner wants to keep you company while you go grocery shopping and make you dinner.

4. It's epic when you can have sex with someone who loves you and you trust and love as well. I'm also one of those people who isn't prudish when it comes to admitting that I have sex with my husband.

But, with every relationship, there is compromise.

1. If you want to come home and complain, you also have to be willing to listen to your partners complaints, understand their needs and give feedback. Learning when to just say "okay" versus "well, have you tried this..." has been a challenge for me. Mostly I just say "okay," and that takes the conversation nowhere and leaves Eric feeling less than understood.

2. Cuddling is awesome. Really, it's one of those things that I will never be able to give up and I'm not looking forward to the various enterprises I have planned for the years ahead because they will deny me my cuddles--don't hate. But I'll probably also sleep more, because on the one hand cuddling makes me feel safer and loved, which makes sleeping easier. But on the other, cuddling can lead to sex or for me--no sleep because my husband is a bed hog. My dear husband whom I love so much will literally chase me across the bed at night while he's asleep. You see in the movies where there is a "his" and "her" side of the bed--with our bed I sleep on the left side and when he's not cuddling, he sleeps in the middle. He also does this thing where he will give me some of his blanket, and then by morning he will have both blankets on him and I'll be tugging on the edges. But then he'll roll over and cuddle.

3. Grocery shopping means spending money for two people (and a dog) to eat for the week, which means budgeting. My approach to budgeting is more laidback--I have numbers in my head, I go with it. Eric is more financially-oriented, we'll say, so he worries a lot more about what money we have. With such different approaches, the important thing to remember is to COMMUNICATE. Plan out meals, know what the other likes to eat and go from there. Right now, Eric is the only one working which leaves me at home most of the day. The responsibility of cooking therefore falls on me and while I can subsist on homemade chili for a while month, my husband wishes to have more variety. I think we both have done very well when it comes to being patient when the other cooks--not every meal is a winner, not ever meal is edible (my chili is too spicy) and not every meal is made on time. Sometimes we don't even want to cook and end up eating out (which is a whole 'nother ordeal because I can't eat gluten). That's life.

4. Sex is awesome, and when we are in situ I really, really enjoy it (not to put a too fine of a point on it) but I don't have much of a sex drive. Eric's, on the other hand, is healthy which leaves quite a gap between the two of us--sometimes he'll make a move and I won't be feeling it, and I'm rarely the one instigating . In all of my days, I have read a lot of articles and personal stories from women with this sort of problem (or others--I have a strange fascination with sex and the Mormon church) and being a feminist I had it in my head that women who have sex with their husbands when they don't have the sex drive for it are anti-feminist and ultimately hurting their relationships, and that it would take a misogynist pig-swine to force his wife to please him when she isn't feeling up to it. This isn't the case. Or... it's not always the case, I'm sure there are people like this out there. But... from what I have found, sometimes I am not feeling up to it but end up enjoying it. Sometimes I am unaware that I need that physical connection with my husband. Other times I really am not into it, and he has to back off. My point ultimately is: communicate with your partner what your needs are and understand where they are coming from. In my case, and hopefully yours, I love my husband and he loves me. I love his body, I love how he makes me feel and thus have no problem with him touching me or seeing him naked. If you are uncomfortable in anyway with having a physical relationship with your spouse, my advice would be to communicate and research. The internet can be a great resource for developing your physical relationship with your partner if used properly.

So yeah, that's my one-month review of marriage. I feel like some of my friends have this idea of marriage where it's awesome and it changes your whole life, when it's actually pretty normal (which I find to be awesome). You compromise, you give-and-take, and when all else fails you get naked and eat cheerios (warning: language). You're living the same life, and that life has the same meaning as before and you are still the person you were beforehand, but now with the addition of another person's life, goals, etc. You face obstacles together just as much as you reap rewards together.

So please, be prepared, and keep all hands and feet inside of the vehicle when in motion. Well, unless that's your kink. ;)

Velocirapture

2011-09-06T00:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry, the title has nothing to do with this post.

Normally I don't do these sorts of things.

Mostly because I don't have friends, so I don't get to do these sorts of things.

But also because I'm weird and hate following rules. Buuut, I love this girl and am flattered and don't want to be rude and mostly have nothing else to blog about and it's 1:30AM and I'm bored.

The wonderful Hope (for some reason I said that in a Tigger voice in my head) nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award, which I have been told doesn't involve a cash prize and/or chocolate, which is disappointing.

But I guess I am to name 9 facts about myself...

I lived in Iceland and am never allowed back. You can read about (some of) my adventures here, but basically everything that COULD HAVE GONE WRONG did. And they are going to process my visa application indefinitely so that if I ever make it back into the country, I will once more be illegal. But regardless, it was still probably the highlight of my life so far and I am so happy I went. I had a family there made up of other students, and learned a lot about myself and what I want from life. Oh, and I got to study an active volcano--it doesn't get much better than that.

Not everywhere looked like this, but yes, it was as cold as it looked.

I am a scientist! A geophysicist, to be exact, but in my head everything operates under the assumption that it can be explained through science. Emotions are awkward chemical imbalances. So I do a lot of silent thinking in order to process emotions and other things I don't quite understand, which makes me--and many others--believe I am an alien. Or a robot. I'd settle for being a dinosaur.

DINOSAUR AND ALIENS--I JUST WON THE INTERNET KTHX

I went to a psychic one and she told me that in my past life I was one of King Henry VIII horses. Which works because my best friend and cohort Andrew believes he was King Henry VIII.
I can cook, clean, sew, knit, make jewelry, stitch, save, coupon, etc. etc. Basically, whatever it takes to be a good housewife, I've got it. It comes naturally to me--just look at me. I look like I'm supposed to have 8 children and be kept at home. But I am easily bored, and not ashamed of this. So instead I study geophysics. Basically, if it involves rocks and freaks lots of people out, I'm all over it. I. Love. Rocks.
I have two beautiful sisters who complain about me never blogging about them.

I have eaten crickets, elk, sheep's head, fermented shark, rattlesnake, blood sausage, herring, horse and a bunch of other random things.
I have celiac disease! I can no haz gluten, which is in wheat, barley and rye.
I am vulgar, insensitive and sarcastic. But I promise, it's all part of my charm.
My lovely husband is going to buy me a giraffe named Leonard. This is fact, it will never change

And thaaaat's it, I guess! I guess I am supposed to recommend 5 blogs to receive the very same reward, which I remind you doesn't include a cash prize or chocolate or really anything. But hey!

So there they are in no particular order (but really, there is an order, I'm just sure you couldn't figure it out):

I Was So Surprised because she went to Spain and she's awesome like that.

WeathaMans Blog because the title doesn't lie and he's awesome like that.

My Thoughts. My Words. My Life. because she's grateful AND entertaining and I almost never have any idea what she's talking about.

Capricious Whims because I miss him and also almost never have any idea what he's talking about either.

The Zen Master because he writes poetry and does Zen Master teachings that are often both insightful and hilarious and almost totally not because he's going to buy me a giraffe, though that WAS taken into consideration.

Hey, so if you're going to be in upstate New York in about two weeks...

2011-08-30T22:36:00.000-07:00

...you're welcome to come to my wedding!

That's right. I have a number of reasons NOT to get married listed on this very blog... Two years ago "marriage" wasn't even in my vocabulary, as many of my friends and family members have pointed out...

And now I'm getting married, not to the "man of my dreams" but rather to my best friend, confidant, hero, and overall favorite person ever, who has already found us an apartment and is doing such a fantastic job of ironing all of the details out for this move.

The more people I tell, the more real it becomes in my head. Up until this point, I was just excited that I'm going to get to see him in two weeks. But in two weeks, I am going to be moving in with him and able to call him my husband... I'm scared out of my mind.

He tries really hard to not appreciate my picture taking.

YouTube, Yeah.

2011-07-06T22:31:00.000-07:00

So I am breaking my imaginary limit on YouTube videos in a blog post rule, and stealing a post idea from my friend Chris!

We all know how well I did last time with these 30 Day Challenge deals, so to save us all the trouble I'm just going to do it in one post and whether you read or not is your own damn fault.

Begin!

Your favorite song: Don't Want to Miss A Thing by Aerosmith. The ironic part: I never thought this song would ever apply to me, I just liked it because Aerosmith is B.A. and the song reminds me of Bruce Willis saving the world from an asteroid the size of Texas.

Your least favorite song: Love Story by Taylor Swift. I will use my eyeballs as ping-pong balls...

A song that makes you happy: Look At Me Now by Chris Brown, feat. Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes. This is the song that gets me through the work day, I don't even know why, it's just awesome.

A song that makes you sad: Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley, ft. Alison Krauss. It's emotional! Of course, there are other ones, like Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning by Alan Jackson and Konstantine by Something Corporate.

A song that reminds you of someone: Am I the only person in the world that can't automatically match songs to people or memories? There's a bunch of songs that remind me of my time in Iceland, like Dynamite by Taio Cruz or that one song by Pitbull, but just because I love the song so much, Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance.

A song that reminds you of somewhere: Well, like I said, there are songs that remind me of Iceland, mostly club music. One in particular reminds me of Iceland, bars and my dear friend Ryan! Viltu Dick by Sykur, ft. Blazroca.

A song that reminds you of a certain event: Ummm... Heartless by Kanye West.

A song that you know all the words to: Any song by Lady Gaga, my favorite probably being Judas.

A song that you can dance to: Party Rock Anthem (Everyday I'm Shufflin') by LMFAO, just cause it's fun and dance music and goofy as all get out at the same time. The memes alone are awesome.

A song that makes you fall asleep: I wish this were possible, hahahaha.

A song from your favorite band: Uhmm... who is my favorite band? We'll go with I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy.

A song from a band you hate: I'm not a hater, but let us go with Marry Me by Train.

A song that is a guilty pleasure: Glee's version of ~~just about everything~~ Total Eclipse of the Heart.

A song that nobody would expect you to love: Oh I don't know... Bottoms Up by Trey Songz, ft. Nicki Minaj.

A song that describes you: Force of Nature by Pearl Jam or Little Miss by Sugarland or What A Catch, Donnie by Fall Out Boy.

A song that you used to love, but now hate: Blue by LeAnn Rimes, I used to sing it everyday before swimming lessons when I was a kid. I just grew out of it, so I don't hate it, but yeah...

A song you hear often on the radio: Mean by Taylor Swift.

A song you wish you could hear on the radio: Freeze Ray from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.

A song from your favorite album: Closer to the Edge by 30 Seconds to Mars. Their "This is War" album is amazing. Hurricane ft. Kanye West is amazing as well.

A song you listen to when you're angry: Virutally any song by Fall Out Boy. Since I already used I Don't Care, how about This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race.

A song you listen to when you're happy: Save A Horse (Ride a Cowboy) by Big & Rich. Duh.

A song you listen to when you're sad: Austin by Blake Shelton or Stay by Hurts.

A song you want to play at your wedding: The Imperial March from Star Wars, I am utterly serious.

A song you want to play at your funeral: Ballad of Serenity from Firefly!

A song that makes you laugh: Endangered Love from Veggietales!

Two Freebies: Only the Young by Brandon Flowers and Black Balloon by Goo Goo Dolls (and Down by Jay Sean, ft. Lil Wayne)

A song that makes you feel guilty: Love is a Battlefield by Jordin Sparks, because it makes me miss Angela. who is going to make me an aunt in August!

A song from your childhood: Everybody by Backstreet Boys. Oh, I love BSB.

Your favorite song from this time last year: Waaaaay to long ago to remember, so I'll say Why Me by Planet P Project!

Mortification

2011-06-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

Oh man... there is just so much I have to blog about right now, mostly because I just Opus Dei'd myself by reading the blog of a girl I knew in high school...

Here's the thing: I have lived a far from normal life, at least in the eyes of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, of which I have been a member of since as far back as I can remember. Just as a break down so you know what I'm talking about: I basically had the worst parts of the flu all through junior high and high school and was never properly diagnosed, leading to some really pathetic days in bed, a bad attitude and a lot of tears. Coupled with personal family issues that lead to an extremely rocky senior year: re-living high school is my own personal hell... but I wouldn't have made it through without the Church.

Of course, being raised in an environment that downplayed love and marriage to the point of disgracing or teaching against it conflicted with the family-centric ideals I was being fed at Church, which often left me to be confused and dismayed, but resolute to take on the world independently.

Moving into the present: I am three days away from being 21 years old. I am unmarried, no children, which is almost unheard of in my graduating (seminary) class. In the last year I have managed to live in a foreign country illegally, fail two geology courses, find out I have celiac disease, live with a legitimate drug-dealer, lose all feasible financial support for college, move myself (and Marvin, my fish) 800 miles, get a job at Walmart, start paying all of my own bills, and delete 300 people I didn't care about on Facebook, most of which were members of the Mormon church. All because I just couldn't take it anymore...

After several false alarms, I know that this is where I'm supposed to start over, and for some reason I keep looking back. For some reason, I keep reading that blog and thinking a mixture of "something is wrong with me" or "I deserve that life." I only get so far before I am brought back to my knees thinking that I'm not good enough because I am not living their life, and I lose sight of my own life.

I lose sight of the things I have been gifted with. As Adele says, "count your blessings to find what you look for." I feel blessed, in every sense of the word, to be intelligent and to have a passion for that intelligence... and to be able to do whatever it takes to further my knowledge. It is becoming more acceptable in the Church for women to work outside of the home, and they are even encouraged to get an education whether they choose to use it or not, but in some communities it's still "silly." For me, personally, it has been hard. I will do just about anything to get my education, because it's the one thing I know someone cannot take from me, and believe me when I say that I have had everything else taken from me, in one way or another; it is the the ultimate representation of my independence and ability to take on the world by myself, something I still feel the need for. Right now, after relocating, it has been especially hard: I have no money or friends or really any idea of when this all will come to an end... And because I'm supposed to be learning something, the one person who could make the suffering feel less like the end of the world and more like just a hurdle, lives another 1000 miles away. It would be so easy for me to give up and go live with him, or just give up entirely, just in pursuit of "that life" that I feel like I should be living, or have failed at achieving.

But I don't. And to be honest, I don't always know why I don't, just that I figure tomorrow has the opportunity to be better, and if God has given me tomorrow after taking it from someone else, why shouldn't I accept it from him? Who am I to say that I can't do something, or shouldn't have to do something? My life isn't her life, and it never will be. We have different sets of problems, different ideologies, and we will have different outcomes. But something we can agree on: it takes all kinds. The insight she brings is just as important as my perspective, and neither of us can live productively trying to find flaws or coveting elements of the other's life. So long as neither of us live in ignorance, we can both live the lives we were meant to in whatever degree of peace afforded to us.

My personal degree of peace calls for an X-Files marathon until I pass out, happy birthday to me! ;D

I did MY civil service today, did you?

2011-06-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

So I took a break from my Bridezillas marathon (seriously, it's like televised crack) to go purchase a gas cap for Harry, my little blue Chevy Cavalier that I swear to you--were he human--is gay.

I seriously imagine him to be about 5'4 and super skinny, always wearing bro shorts and polo shirt combinations that only a gay man could pick out. You would think he's easily breakable, but he'd surprise you by taking you to a rock climbing wall on your first date, or wanting to go white water rafting for your anniversary. That's because I've gotten Harry stuck on half a dozen dirt roads and I've put a ton of miles on him going way too fast and taking turns like I'm actually going somewhere. The move from Arizona to Oklahoma alone--I absolutely expected him to get a flat tire or a radiator leak or something, but no! He took it like a champ!

So anyways, Harry needed a gas cap. $13 compared to a $800 radiator--I'll take it. I also had some cash in my wallet so on my way out I finally did what I had been telling them I would do ever since they showed up outside of my Wal-mart: I bought spiritual barbecue sauce from a girl her mom willingly named "Lovely."

Now, "Lovely" is a... er, lovely name. It's definitely unique. Noticing my surprise, however, Lovely's sister proceeded to tell me that her name was Princess, their little brother's name was Prince... Prince Something-or-other, I'm pretty sure it's the same as the term for a penis piercing, and then their baby sister was named Miracle.

I think this is reason enough for me to name my kids Chewbacca, 'Ikipedia and Dinosaur.

A Bit of Hope

2011-06-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, I already blogged tonight, and I never do this, but I have to tell you how much I love this girl.

Hope is beautiful, inside and out, and just chock-full of charisma, sarcasm and goofiness. Don't ever let her tell you different. Especially when she can come up with gems like this:

"We all need people like that. The ones who force us to do what we convince ourselves we're unable to achieve. Someone to throw our stubborn little pessimistic butts back up on that dumb horse and try again."

There has been more than one occasion that my boyfriend has referred to me as a "stubborn little pessimistic butt." The number actually is closer to a dozen, or two... But--without fail--every time I get upset at something I can't do or a situation I'm in that I can't change or I try to convince him that I'm so lost and forlorn that he should just dump me and move on, he insists upon reminding me that I am stubborn, pessimistic but that he likes my butt.

TMI.

It's funny how reading the same thing on someone else's blog, thankfully someone I respect and admire, makes it sink in quicker than hearing it from someone who I sometimes feel is obligated to tell me nice things (he's going to beat me the next time I see him (he's stationed 1500 miles away) because I said he was "obligated," just you watch!!). We do need someone to push us back out into the ring when we think we're too weak to fight. He does it for me, but I don't think it has to be a significant other all the time. It can be a sibling or a parent or a teacher or really anyone, and it can change throughout your life. Regardless, you should listen, because obviously they see something in you that you can't see.

Though I'm sorry, dear, but I'm not coming to your house for eggs. ;)

How May I Help You Today?

2011-06-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

I work at Wal-mart. And that's really all I can say about the matter because I signed a paper saying all of my internetz nao belongz 2 dem. I get it--they don't want me to bad mouth them. And I won't. Cause I really, really, really need this job.

But everyone knows... it's Wal-mart. They are to the 3D world what Google is to the Internet--and imagine for a moment what kind of world we would live in if they two merged...

Stop crying. I'm serious, stop, you look dumb.

Anyways, Wal-mart is much too big to be effected by one cashier's blog, that is only followed by 12 people (I gained a follower by saying I don't care!). And they know that they hire anybody. And when people go to Wal-mart, they expect to find the social misfits and thus the idle conversation they have with the cashier only has two registers: "the weather" or "life story."

The Weather consists of things like "how are you today," "has it been busy," "it doesn't seem that busy today," "we have a chance of rain today," "man, it's hot outside." It's only a meager attempt to acknowledge the cashier's existence and the fact that they're being paid (just above) minimum wage to bag your condoms and green leaf lettuce* without judgement. If you have more than 15 items in your buggy (they don't call'em carts here) this sort of "conversation" doesn't last very long and leaves a long, awkward silence before the total can (FINALLY) be calculated. And no, I can't magically make $300 worth of name-brand toilet paper and lunch meat come in under $25. If I could, I wouldn't be working at Wal-mart to begin with, woman!

MOVING ON.

Life Story is, well, their life story. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it can really be interesting and eye-opening. For instance, I met the ex-wife of a nuclear geologist and got to talk to her about life, love and geology all in the space of bagging her groceries. It was truly awesome! Other times, however, it's just boring, I'm uninterested, you're giving me WAY too much information or just in need of some serious counselling... What is funny though is that the worse "offenders" of this category so far have been my co-workers.

For example, we have to do this thing called "red-lining," which is basically that trademarked stand-at-the-head-of-the-lane-and-wave-obnoxiously-at-passers-by thing. The first day on the job, I red-lined next to a girl whom I had never spoken to before. Before I thought up something to say, she proceeded to tell me about her toothache, why her husband was upset with her, why she had been sneaking out of bed, and the details of her last doctor's visit when she thought she may have been pregnant again, a situation that was both unpleasant for her and her husband's penis.

Too much information for you, way too much friggin' information for me.

But that's okay, cause the most... let's say... "interesting" conversation I've had to date has been about my recent move from Arizona to Oklahoma. It's something I bring up every time someone mentions how hot it is outside, because honestly, it ain't that hot and I'm way eager to talk to you while I'm ringing up groceries so that we both don't feel awkward. Usually people steer the conversation towards finding out why I chose Oklahoma or what the weather is like in Arizona...

This one guy, though... oh, this one guy... no. He had to compare me, me of all people, to Bella from Twilight. He said I was too pale to be from Arizona and asked if my boyfriend was sparkly and wanted to suck my blood.

So yeah.

Remember to talk to your cashiers, guys. They're people too! Sad, pale people who are just trying to make a living so that they can pay their bills and go back to school... They don't have sparkly boyfriends, and that's okay.

*I seriously had a guy come in and that's all he bought. I'm hoping that his significant other gets turned on by lettuce.

Am I funny yet? I swear, this is easier in person...

2011-05-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

I can't get off the floor. It's just too comfortable and I'm too irritated to move.

That should be a TLC show: Too Irritate To Move.

I'd watch.

But anyways... this post is like all of my others and just me venting some of my frustrations so that my boyfriend won't leave me (kidding, he's in love with the scent of my blood and driven mad by his inability to read my mind--he lubs me 4evurz!~).

First and foremost: if I deleted you off Facebook, odds are I am not going to add you back. Especially since I haven't regretted deleting anyone thus far--in fact, I regret having not deleted some people yet, but they have an expiration date (it's free cable--I have to see who marries who and who can't talk about S-E-X: no one invites me to their bridal showers because I will buy you condoms so you won't get preggo on your honeymoon, and I'm cheap--in fact, I'll probably just grab a handful from the free bin at the Uni). Basically: I don't care about your life and I sure as hell know you don't care about mine. Or should care. Which... I don't know why I am posting this on my blog because none of those people would have ever read my blog. Still.

Secondly: I don't expect people to like me. Honestly, I'm surprised that so many people do (and that's not to say I am popular by any means--I have a grand total of 11 followers of this blog, one of which I will never speak to again, another whom I am dating, which puts him under obligation to read, and I am STILL surprised that you people cared enough to click "Follow") I DO EXPECT HOWEVER that you don't pretend to like me.

Because seriously, that's irritating, and I'll likely come to expect lavish gifts in order to compensate for all the care I'm pretending to give you and your problems.

Warning: that was inappropriate. But, honestly.

Seriously, where am I?

2011-05-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, so for those of you who don't know: I am moving to Oklahoma. In fact, right now I am in New Mexico on my way to Oklahoma--my odometer reads 447.3 miles right now. Santa Rosa, New Mexico is actually only 441-ish miles away from my apartment in Flagstaff. The remaining miles came from trying to find a drive-thru and some blessing of a location that sold shampoo.

I had the Circle K "What Else Do You Need" jingle in my head when I pulled up to find they had EVERY SINGLE FLAVOR OF CHEW TOBACCO EVER CREATED EVER but no nifty travel-size shampoos.

I mean, seriously. This is a po-dunk town. It has only TWO radio stations...

The internet is only available in certain hotel rooms...

There are billboards that legitimately say "Buy 10 Rail Road Ties, Get 2 Free!"

"Cattle country" and "topless country" has been used in the same sentence on more than one billboard by more than one strip club...

According to the Yellow Pages, the only "grocery" type store in town doubles as a bar...

But people, whoever it is who lives here, wash their hair here, right?!

And that brings us to the Family Dollar. Where, I kid you not, I witnessed a 60 year old woman (who was clearly trying to be closer to 24) make out with a 19 year old kid. He may have been 25 at the oldest, but I swear he was 19.

Somebody get me out of here.

Write Down Your Goals!

2011-04-30T00:26:00.000-07:00

Sure, I have goals. Lots of them.

"Don't die tomorrow" is my main one.

Or actually, "don't kill anyone tomorrow" is probably more accurate...

But yes, I have goals. It would probably help to verbalize them from time to time, but really, no one wants to know how silly they are. You probably think I'm kidding with the "don't kill anyone" thing, but I'm not. I micromanage myself. I micromanage my emotions, I micromanage my thoughts, I micromanage my bowel movements.

Actually, scrap the last one, that's verging on creepy.

My point is, I have small goals. Day-by-day goals. Things that other people probably don't have to remind themselves to do, kind of goals. The "big picture" is big and unattainable, so I've got to focus on what is right in front of me. Today it was waking up when I was done sleeping and trying to decide when to go back to Uni. It is now past midnight and I have yet to complete the second goal, however I did manage to write a 2,000 word paper about globalization inside of an hour.

And tomorrow, I will wake up when I am done sleeping and try to decide when to go back to Uni.

And the day after that, I will start packing and finishing schoolwork for my last term at NAU.

And the day after that... I will try not to kill or seriously maim anyone. Is it too much to ask for everyone in Flagstaff to stay off the roads?

I'm No Good At Math

2011-04-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man, “I do that too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
“But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
“I know what you mean,” said the little old man.
(Reblogged from Simple Stories)

Fun fact: I can't wait to be old. Most, if not all, of what I do these days is just for the stories I'll be able to tell my grandchildren. I believe that for me I will feel the most successful telling stories of rock-hounding and adventure that widen eyes and cause gasps of awe, because they can't believe that grandma was ever that daring...

But I'm not ready to grow old just yet; I have to make those stories happen now.

Feminism

2011-04-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

It should not be a surprise to anyone when I say that I am a feminist. Read this post, or email/comment, if you want to know anymore.

That same post also explains my reason behind this post. I am announcing my new blog Women HQ:

For those who don't know, I am a geology student and I love it, dearly. About a year ago, however, I hit a rut and couldn't remember why I was going to school. I decided to study abroad in Iceland, a hotspot for geology, in an effort to get my mojo back. I did, in all actuality, get my mojo back, but I also got a bit sidetracked. I had the wonderful opportunity to meet several men and women from Afghanistan, Pakistan and Palestine who were there studying women's rights issues. It's not popular fact, but it is true, that Iceland is also a hotspot for feminism. Being a feminist, and at the time having a vested interest in the war in Afghanistan because Eric was over there, I was really interested in hearing their stories. Over my four months stay I became familiar with the abuse two women--Ghotai and Fatima--personally witnessed, and it was enough to bring me to tears and infuriate me. I could not imagine being beaten by my husband so viciously that I cannot remember my daughters name or how to count... And it would crush me to watch my husband have sex with his new wife in front of me as a form of punishment.

What most people don't understand is that this oppression and abuse is not because of the Koran, or really any religion. These beliefs are not tied to a book, they are tied into tradition which has developed over the years due to various occupations. No where in the Koran does it say that women must be covered head to toe, and it doesn't refer to them as property. In truth, the Koran is one of the most liberal religious texts known to mankind. Unlike the Bible, it allows for women to get a divorce and calls them equal to men. There are even laws and organizations in Afghanistan that are trying to help women or call them equals, and they can get divorces from their husbands. But because national laws more often than not fall victim to the more local practices of patriarchs like fathers, brothers and husbands, women are still oppressed and abused. Women usually don't know the rights they do have, and thus don't feel the need to enact them.

With the US/NATO war in Afghanistan came opportunity for women to speak up and stand out. Though much of Afghanistan's infrastructure is damaged, if not demolished, women have taken this opportunity to rebuild. Ten years ago women couldn't walk down the street, but now they can go grocery shopping on their own and even be members of the government. Girls can go to school. Little things we take for granted, they are just achieving. And we want to help them achieve more... In the last few years the feminist movement in Afghanistan has lost steam. People don't care anymore. Organizations on the ground have hit brick walls or lost funding. Fatima and I don't see that as acceptable, and think that if we brought the issue back into the public eye, people around the world would view it as unacceptable as well.

In the long run, we hope to be on the ground in Afghanistan doing this work. This requires years of planning, which we've already begun, and will also involve fundraising. Before we can get there though, we want to raise awareness; we feel like that is the most important part. We want people to know of the injustice women face in other countries, specifically Afghanistan. So what I'm asking right now is not for money but rather your thoughts and consideration. It's as easy as going to Google and typing in "women+afghanistan." We've also started a website called Women HQ, and we consider it a Gateway to International Feminism. We want it to be a one-stop shop where people can find articles and up-to-date information, as well as ways to help. We also want them to communicate and discuss the articles, as well as show their friends and pass the information along. We believe that knowledge is our most powerful weapon in this fight.

Eventually we hope to expand our website beyond a blog to include an online forum where women from all over the world, including Afghanistan, can talk to one another and support each other. There are women who don't know the support they have, nor the opportunities. We want to give that back to them, because we know they'll stand up for themselves if they know they're not the only ones in this fight.

The website is a work-in-progress currently, because our original crashed Monday (3/28) afternoon, but the new one is womenhq.blogspot.com. Please read the about page and understand that it's currently being rebuilt, but comments and discussions are encouraged. There are several ways to subscribe and keep up with the articles posted as well. We'll also have letters, opEd pieces and paper written by women who have lived in Afghanistan, and their experiences so it's sure to be informative.

Thank you!

It's Dooooone!

2011-03-31T22:06:00.000-07:00

Day 27
A picture of you and a family member.

My little sister, Erin. We're both geologists, she's going to always be in my shadow, poor girl! ;)

Day 28
A picture of something you're afraid of.

I have trypophobia. A fear of holes. This goes back to the Surinam Toads... I refuse to post a picture.

Day 29
A picture that can always make you smile.

It's morbid but it's true.

Day 30
A picture of someone you miss.

I love him, and I love his goofy pictures. I love when he tries to intimidate me over 10,000 miles and an internet connection, which is what I think he was doing here... I'unno, I can't remember. In any case, I miss him.

And just like that, I have nothing to blog about. FFUUUUUUUUUUU.

Dean Koontz is Love.

2011-03-27T15:02:00.000-07:00

In high school I wasn't too fond of reading anything for class whatsoever. I could give you a thousand excuses, most of which legitimate, but since I'm going on being three years out I'll just go with the truth: I was lazy. Since then, I have grown into myself and become much more vocal about my opinions. I really enjoy in-class discussions and feel terribly inadequate--a feeling I despise--whenever I don't read the assigned chapters or have a prepared position.

This semester I have seven books for just one class, four for another and then an addition textbook (as well as online modules which include chapters, maps, virtual field-trips, selections from the Bible and even the entire Koran). For a long time I've been eying the Amazon Kindle to keep track of all my books and allow me the accessibility of reading for class during breaks or other boring classes, and for Christmas my awesomely amazing boyfriend gifted me one, and I've been in love ever since! With him too!

Unfortunately, because of the Kindle my current free-time hasn't been devoted to textbooks, but rather pleasure reading, and since my dream to be part of the best book club ever hasn't come true yet (YET), I'm going to resort to writing a book review. How d'you like me now?

Instead of going back and reviewing some of my favorite books, I am going to start with what I have read most recently, which as the title suggests is a Dean Koontz novel entitled Sole Survivor.

For a while now I have enjoyed Dean Koontz's novels. There are a couple that I never finished because they were too detailed or dry, but the ones that I have finished I have always enjoyed, and they've almost always left me in a mixed state of emotions. Sole Survivor is no different.

The story is about Joe Carpenter, a man who after a year meets a mysterious woman who claims to have been a survivor of the plane crash his wife and children died in, a plane crash that supposedly none could have survived. Initially dry and morbid due to the life Joe leads mourning his loss, the books picks up just a few pages in with the inclusion of top secret and well-armed organizations, mysterious deaths, odd photographs and even Baptists, and keeps you holding on until the very, very end.

What I've always enjoyed about Dean Koontz's novels is how he incorporates religious or spiritual ideals into science fiction plots. At the risk of spoilers, the ideals he uses in Sole Survivor are what every grieving parent, much less every human being, wants to know: is there, or is there not, an afterlife? Specifically, the question Joe is faced with is: what peace would it bring you to know that your loved ones are not gone forever, and how much are you willing to put on the line to bring that message to others? Being a scientist, spiritualist (because Universalist is the wrong term) and Mormon, I enjoy the way Koontz presents his ideals without overpowering the novel; unlike many authors these days, the book is primarily science fiction, rather than religious. After keeping you on your toes throughout the majority of the novel, trying to figure out what's next--who this woman is, how she survived, why people are trying to kill her and Joe--Koontz beautifully slips the idea of an afterlife in at the very end. Even Joe, the protagonist, is caught off-guard by the idea, which in context is mind-blowing but a perfect fit as the resolution. As the reader, Koontz leaves you unresolved and with the question "what would knowing there is an afterlife do for humanity?"

Clearly, I highly recommend this book. If you've never read a novel by Dean Koontz before, Sole Survivor is a great gateway book to his other more popular novels (I also recommend for this purpose The Taking). Be prepared to be conflicted, taken for a ride, and maybe even a few tears as you try to unravel the mystery Joe is faced with along with reliving the pain that drove him to give up a successful career and everything that came with it. But above all else, be prepared to think.

I'm Apparently Really Bad At This...

2011-03-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

But in my defense, I've been racking my brain to come up with something to talk about that isn't so personal and boring.

Day Twenty-Four
A picture of something you wish you could change.

I could list so much here! But instead I'll go with the following:

Dear Kindle/Amazon,
You know those cute author screensaver pictures you use? I think they'd be more interesting if you made the authors zombies. Cause y'know, most of them are dead!
All my love and affection forever and ever,
Leah

Day Twenty-Five
A picture of your day.

It's Sunday (which is why I look sick and as if I just crawled out of bed...because I did--note stuffed Nemo peeking out from under pillows in background), which comes after Saturday, and I'm supposed to be building a website, steadying my presentation, reading about something or doing a thousand and one mindless quizzes on the most exciting topic in the world: United States geography. But all I want to do is read Dean Koontz books and play Texas Hold'em on my Kindle. Best $.99 I ever spent!

Day Twenty-Six
A picture of something that means a lot to you.

A lot means a lot to me... but for this post, I'm going to say geology because it's introduced me to some amazing people, repeatedly drives me to the edge of insanity, fulfills me academically (when I'm actually taking challenging classes pertaining to my field), and is just a ton of fun. Oh, and because people think it's crazy.

I Hated Reading Books for Class...

2011-03-24T17:35:00.000-07:00

Day 23
A picture of your favorite book.

Thank you, Mrs. John, for making me read this book!

My second favorite would be:

Thank you, Mrs. Dilbeck, for making me read this book as well!

It's Cause I Know I'm Awesome At Everything, Okay?

2011-03-23T22:45:00.000-07:00

Day 22
A picture of something you wish you were better at.

I am REALLY SUPER SPECTACULARLY bad at taking compliments, which include pep talks (coaches are supposed to give pep talks, get it?). In fact, if the Boy compliments me, even over the phone, I resort ot thinly-veiled physical threats. :P If I'm down on myself, and someone tells me to cheer up or that I don't actually suck after all, I just kind of awkwardly say thanks and change the subject. I never know what to say!

I Think...

2011-03-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

its possible to be best friends with the opposite sex
the only person that can rescue you is you
sometimes silence is an appropriate response
marriage is merely a social institution
it's possible to love someone and not be physically attracted to them
you don't have to be good at dancing to be good at dancing
staring at the ceiling for extended periods of time is therapeutic
people shouldn't paint rocks
codependency is a turn-off
if people really care they'll ask you, not people who think they know you
divorce shouldn't be taboo
celiac disease sucks
long-distance relationships aren't for everyone, but totally work
under-eye bags/dark circles are symbolic, not ugly

Nice Use of "Hobag"

2011-03-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

Day Veinte Y Uno
A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Well, considering I have the WORST memory on the planet... I've forgotten a great deal already. Unfortunately, most of the good stuff. Sooo, there aren't many memories I'm willing to part with just because there aren't many of them left.

BUT I HATE TWILIGHT SO:

I wish I could forget her and everything she's ever written, the end.

Ice, Ice Baby

2011-03-21T13:01:00.000-07:00

Day Twenty
A picture of somewhere you'd like to travel.

I have three career goals... Working in Antarctica is the most realistic of the three.

Catch Up, Ketchup!

2011-03-20T23:01:00.000-07:00

Day 14
A picture of someone you could never imagine living your life without...

Pass, but for all the right reasons.

Day Fifteen
A picture of something you want to do before you die!

EVERYTHING. Click the link. Seriously, do it. Dare me to do something, and I'll do it, and if it's wild, crazy, stupid, unbelievable or all of the above--I'm in.

Day Sixteen
A picture of someone who inspires you.

It's something I can't easily explain... I don't have heroes, and I mostly look to myself when I get caught up in how much road I still have to travel. In the last year, let's say, I've been looking at myself a lot more and trying to find out where I truly lie along the religion spectrum. There are things that I think transcend organized religion, and those are the things that I can easily point to and say "I believe in that, I know it's truth and I can tell you of it's beauty." Carl Sagan, though deceased, helped me. Between him and one of my favorite YouTube videos, I've figured out what keeps me ticking... The Universe.

"But I feel safe because I know my world is protected by the very distance others fear. It's like the universe screams in your face 'do you know what I am? How grand I am? How old I am? Can you even comprehend what I am? What are you, compared to me?' But when you know enough science, you can just smile up at the universe and reply 'Dude! I Am You.'"

It's not a quote from Carl Sagan, but Carl Sagan certainly has inspired me...

Day 17
A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Uhm... I guess I'll put Oklahoma here? I'm moving to Oklahoma! Withdrawing... moving... getting a job... working... and then transferring universities. Yeah, I'd say that's a huge impact!

Day 18

A picture of your biggest insecurity...

That's easy! My weight. I always, always, always struggled with it. Along with always, always, always feeling like I had just been hit by a semi carrying malaria ridden zombies. This past summer we figured out I had celiac disease! And since then, I have lost a lot of weight, and I hate my graduation pictures. :P But that's what happens! You just have to do work.

Day 19

A picture of when you were little.

The picture I'm holding is of my sister Erin and I on a family camping trip. I used to ensnare earthworms in styrofoam cups to see what happened to them if they were left out overnight, and my parents used to dump them out after I went to bed.

Honey is for Bees, Silly Bear

2011-03-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

Day 13
A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Criteria: I can listen to any album all the way through and know most, if not all, lyrics.

Runners up include: 30 Seconds to Mars for their "This is War" album, Rascal Flatts, My Chemical Romance, Goo Goo Dolls, Aerosmith for "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing," and Sugarland.

Y'know, just in case you were wondering!

Reconciliation

2011-03-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

Day 12
A picture of something you love...

No, Thank You!

2011-03-14T19:41:00.000-07:00

Day Eleven
A picture of something you hate

Surinam Toads. Google it. I refuse to post a picture.

Disgusting.

Meatball Special

2011-03-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Day 10
A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

So let me tell you a story... My Freshman year at university was unlike anything I ever expected: I worked at Pizza Hut for two weeks, stayed in hotel for finals and almost drove off a cliff. Looking back on it, it pretty much set the tone for the rest of my time at that school. Whether that's good or bad remains to be seen, but regardless, I had a lot of fun times with my roommate B and my stalker Angela.

Sincerely

2011-03-10T12:16:00.000-08:00

Day Nine
A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Kenzie, Andrew and Jakob (not pictured), as well as this guy:

who has actually probably caused more problems than anyone else...
but fixed them too.
(And probably doesn't know I posted this picture; boy, will he be mad...)

/shrug

2011-03-09T15:11:00.000-08:00

Day Eight
A picture that makes you laugh.

How about I give you a choice, huh? The first is slightly inappropriate, and the second is just morbid! An accurate description of my sense of humor.

1) Hahaha... There's another one where it's a rock instead of a shark, but for the life of me I can't find it.

2) "When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor."

International Women's Day

2011-03-08T17:23:00.000-08:00

“Equality is not a concept. It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who’s confronted with it. We need equality. Kinda now.”--Joss Whedon

Confession: I am a feminist. And I love Joss Whedon. But mostly the first.

I consider myself a pretty tolerant person: after all that I've been through, I have made enormous strides in keeping my patience with people, and I firmly believe that patience is the root of tolerance. I am also scientifically-minded and can't help but ask questions and seek to know more about something that is unknown to me. Some people hate this about me, while others enjoy the opportunity to tell me about themselves; some of my favorite conversations have been with complete strangers I met in the check-in line at the airport. People trust me with that bit of their life, and I enjoy listening.

For some people their vice is gay rights and others it's abolishing censorship--we all have something we're truly passionate about. I, Leah Denise, am passionate about feminism. I was raised to be a strong woman, I was brought up to believe that I didn't need a man to carry me through the tough times because I was perfectly capable on my own. In some senses, I would say, I was taught that I was even better then men. And that's what people think of when they hear "feminism."

But that's not feminism, at least not to me, and please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong... Feminism is equality, or rather the fight for equality. Feminists fight to be considered just as good as a man--not better, but equal.

My idea of feminism is raising awareness that both men and women have their own vices and virtues, in any capacity. My initial interest in feminism didn't come from my mother, but rather my religion. For years I had been taught that it was my duty to protect not only my virginity, but the chastity of the young men I interacted with. It was repeated that men were animals who had to "bridle their passions," while women were innocent and felt no passion, but were rather the ones passion was inflicted upon. And that's just sex. When it came down to the duties of men and women, I tuned out. I often skipped class and activities to hang out with the boys, because while the girls were having their hair done or being taught how to make frosting flowers, the boys were learning how to build fires and tie knots. There was a clear division in what was taught to the girls and what was taught to the boys, and to this day the only explanation I have been given as to why has consisted of words like "God" and "divine nature of birth."

In search of an answer I found fMh. And I've been an addict ever since, to the point where I've had friends offer to pray for me, that I might find my way back to my Heavenly Father. I have almost lost a friend, or two, and I'm sure there are others who think I am complaining and defying God rather than re-affirming my faith and finding myself. And really, that's okay; to each their own.

Meanwhile, while I was in Iceland I got to meet some amazing women and be a part of Kvennafri, a protest for women's rights, like a "women's day off." Iceland is ranked at the very top for gender equality, and while I was surrounded by all the men and women who had come out to march and sing and protest in the freezing snow and blinding wind, I could see why. And then I wished that the United States had something similar--I've never heard of a nation-wide protest, have you?

I also had the amazing opportunity to help Ghotai with her English and essays which discussed her experiences as a young girl growing up in Afghanistan. Later, I was able to probe and listen to Fatima's stories about her experiences, as well as those of her sister who has been ferociously beaten. And like nothing that I have ever experienced before, my heart goes out to those women...

And with Fatima I am currently working on a project, the details of which I don't want to give away quite yet, not because I am afraid of divulging key details but mostly because it seems that at every turn there is an obstacle, and time is not on my side. But I encourage anyone who reads or stumbles upon my blog to familiarize yourself with organizations like RAWA and the Afghan Women's Mission. And more than that, I encourage you to meditate on feminism and what it means to you and your daily life. Because although in the United States we are not jailed for running away from our husbands, we still have an issue with the lack of gender equality, and we really need to step it up.

Don't Mess.

2011-03-08T14:38:00.000-08:00

Day Seven
A picture of your most treasured item.

I'm not going to take this all philosophical and be like "my sanity," and I'm not going to degrade any of my loved ones by counting them as property... soooo how about this:

This is my car, Harry.

He's a little dinged up right now, but that's okay. He still knows I love him to pieces (heh, heh). I practically live out of him. We've been through a lot together, that little guy and I. I don't know what I'd do without him...

*wipes away tear*

VORTEX 2: Return of the VORTEX

2011-03-07T21:51:00.000-08:00

Day 06
A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Joshua Michael Aaron Ryder Wurman

Heh, aheheheh.

Good, Bad and The Other

2011-03-06T18:30:00.001-08:00

This moth lives for just one day, and yet, you will never see it fall to the ground and curse the futility of its existence. Nor flowers weep when winter comes. Nor the moon sigh when dawn approaches. We are only ever given just so much.
But it is always, all we need.

(I Wrote This For You)

So I have this hypothesis... and though I can only indirectly test it, I am certain the results will always prove conclusive.

Whatever happens is the only thing that ever could have happened. "Whatever" meaning stepping first with your right foot down a flight of stairs, Challenger exploding, Freudian slips, paper cuts, a bug flying into a windshield--whatever. Any move you make in any direction was the only move you could have made at that precise moment.

It sounds kind of silly, I realize. Of course you have other options of movement, and we are all brought up to seek control over our own destiny... But how does that make sense?

Okay, so I'm not going to go into the answer I have deduced for that particular question, simply out of fear that everyone will think I'm crazier than I already am, but rather just skip ahead to the part where the small shimmer of hope I have for humanity shines through:

We all are who we are for a reason. We only know the people we impact and we only impact upon people we know. Everyone has their own experiences and thus their own reasons to believe, think and interact the way they do--even those who try to be like others, because at the end of the day they still cannot live someone else's life, only their own.

Like the saying "whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger," the implication being that you'll one day have to use the strength you have acquired to defeat another obstacle, this one larger than the last, I believe that everything we have experienced--good, bad and the other--prepares us for what lies ahead in our future. The rather shadowy implication of this would be that our future is already laid out ahead of us, just waiting for us to discover it at the appropriate time. Meaning that all decisions you make were already made before you made them.

Confused yet? Let me give you an example from my own life...

For reasons I don't care to broadcast, I have to withdraw from my university after this semester. It's a decision I did not take lightly and am still mulling over the consequences of, but it's a decision I had to make. The problem is that the future I saw for myself--graduating in May 2012 and going on to graduate school in Oklahoma--is no longer attainable. Instead, this decision is re-aligning my entire future to where I will be working, transferring and "rebooting," as I like to say, allowing me the opportunity to study both of my fields of interest.

So basically, two steps back, one step forward but this time it'll be on firmer footing and with stronger conviction.

The idea I'm presenting is that the first future--Future A, where I graduated in May 2012--was never mine to begin with. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the Universe laughed at me the day I graduated high school and said that without a shadow of a doubt I was going to be on my way to the big leagues in 2012. I imagined it gave a guttural chuckle and said "yeah, sure you'll be on your way, just not the way you thought you were going!" And hey, future B might not be my chosen path either--the Universe could very well be laughing at me right now thinking about what my reaction will be the next time the entirety of my life gets tossed around and I must fabricate a "new" plan. The point is: somewhere, in perhaps the fabric of spacetime or God's own mind, the Universe knows where I will be and what I'll be doing there at any given point because it has already calculated my experiences and beliefs based on prior experiences and beliefs. I believe the Universe, if it were so inclined, could tell me what career I end up with or even how I die, but fortunately--and I do mean fortunately--it is not inclined to do so. In fact, I get the feeling from time to time that the Universe loves laughing at our little puffed up chests!

We run around everyday looking for more time, or counting down the days until we can see that special someone, furiously burning our candles at both ends... and if my theory is correct, that's totally fine! In fact, that's all part of the plan, the Grand Scheme. But so is remembering that we are indeed small when we take it all in, and that our life is one magnificent experience because of it! Knowing that your entire life is planned out before you is not something to be sorrowful about, or even to take lightly. It's something that should be rejoiced because with accepting the idea comes the knowledge that when we die we will have spent all of our allotted time exactly the way it was supposed to have been spent. Whatever we did in our mortal life, be it good, bad, or the other, will have been just what we were to have done. By accepting the Universe you can learn to live without regrets, because whatever you did was exactly what you wanted in that moment, and it set off a series of motions that you will never be able to track, much less find an end to.

It's learning that everything is something, be it the good, bad or the other.

Also, That Time I Dressed Up Like A Man...

2011-03-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

Day Cinco
A picture of your favorite memory!

Okay, look. I have a TERRIBLE memory. Just ask... anyone. Anyone who has ever spoken to me for even ten minutes in the last ten years. I can't remember faces, names, people, places, organizations, television shows, quadratic equations, junior high bullies, mineral types and sometimes my own name.

I would be a terrible CIA agent. (Or maybe a really good one?)

My point is--if I CAN remember something, it is because it has made an impression on me, so I'm kind of upset that I'm having to choose...

Oh Iceland. The entire trip--the logistical problems and mean-spirited Immigration people and all--is one of my favorite memories, and will be for a long time because of my family, pictured above, and all the other wonderful people I had the opportunity to meet--I could fill up this whole blog with just pictures! And believe me, there are pictures all over my desk of Ghotai and Fatima, and Fazil and Eddy... I miss you all!

Oh darn... now I've gone too far down memory lane. Guess there's no turning back now! ;)

I know I've already talked about the wedding, but this is different... this isn't so much about the people (though it is) but rather how awesome it was to be apart of my best friends' wedding. I seriously thought that when Kenzie and Andrew took their vows I was going to start crying, just from how amazing it all was. Instead, I couldn't help but smile--seriously, my cheeks (and feet) hurt so bad afterwards! I was so incredibly happy to see them finally get married, and to have the opportunity to be a part of the ceremony. And dude, Will and I are the best dancers known to mankind, I don't know what you're talkin' about! Even though it looks like we're doing two different parts of the chicken dance...

I love this girl! I sometimes (read: often) beat myself up for not going to a university out of state, but when I remember the awesome people I've met in geology, I return to being grateful for where I am and where I've been. Alex is certainly not the least among these awesome people. She has kept me sane, challenged me to do better and been a best friend despite everything going on in her own world. And what's great, she TOTALLY understands the importance of taking zillions of pictures while hiking, and how hot Camelbacks look. I will always have fond memories of hiking with her, and there are sure to be more!

Which brings me to my final memory... someone wise and bold and never in need of an ego boost (though I seem to stroke his ego much more than I realize :P) once told me that it's all about making memories. I always say that I'm all about the experience of doing something, or being able to say that I did it--I'll more or less try anything once! That way when I'm old I can tell my grandchildren about all the awesome times I had when I was their age, while they're changing my diaper!

My point is... We're young and vibrant, we have so much life ahead of us... I think sometimes we all forget that, I know I certainly do! We have lots of room to make memories, and to cherish the old ones. There are so many things that I wish I could put up here, but they're not photographs, though their imprint in my mind is just as strong, and tomorrow just brings the opportunity to acquire some more!

Frame the Cat!

2011-03-05T15:40:00.000-08:00

Day Four
A picture of your night...

Kevin got us tickets to see this guy tonight? So, uh, we'll see. Should be interesting...

Qualitative Research

2011-03-05T15:30:00.000-08:00

I like being able to say who exactly means the most to me, is that bad?

Over the years--specifically junior high--I didn't know who was my friend and who wasn't; I've always grown up with this feeling that people were friends with me because they felt sorry for me or were using me, and the sad part was that I was okay with that, of course. Hey, at least I had friends!

But there were some pretty awful times... going to a sleepover only to be cordoned off into the kitchen while my hostess had cyber sex with another one of our "friends" who really enjoyed making fun of my religion... really terrible rumors (though I definitely got my revenge in that case)... and super pathetic fights.

Fortunately, in high school, things got rough. I never thought I'd be thankful for everything that happened my senior year, but it showed me who truly was my friend through thick and thin. It was a fairly new concept to me, that these people were willing to hear me complain and cry, at times on a daily basis. They were my co-conspirators and always managed to set me straight when things got cloudy. More than anything, they taught me what it was like to know how much I could trust someone and how nice it was just to be myself, and how to look for people who would allow me those opportunities.

So now, I can pick out amongst my friends and acquaintances those who I hope I can be friends with much longer than our time spent in school and I can diagram ('cause I'm still a nerd) who it is that I know I will be able to count on despite whatever distance may separate us. And what is great, some of them I haven't known longer than a couple months, and some of them I've known for several years... but the time doesn't matter to me. I love these people for who they are and who they have been to me, not according to how long I've known them.

And that's just it--I love my friends.

Big Damn Heroes

2011-03-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

Day 03
A picture of the cast of your favorite TV show.

This was a no-brainer. I am a better person because I have seen Firefly. There are SO many things that I love about this show, and it's cast so well! Basically it's scifi amazingness wrapped in bacon and deep-fried in omg.

Study Abroad: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

2011-03-03T22:25:00.000-08:00

So let me tell you about this epic picture...

When we all moved into Gamli Gardur and got to looking around our accommodations, we noticed a Christmas tree on top of one of the refrigerators, the one pictured above. As soon as Thanksgiving was over, I saw to it that the tree found a permanent home on the table. Ryan, who is also pictured if you look hard enough, and I had an ongoing joke about the mythical being that is Raptor Jesus... and then there was something about dinosaur shaped gummies... so when I was walking to Bonus one day and saw this little yellow dinosaur sitting idly on the frozen pond, I promised myself that I would retrieve it on my way home, thinking that if it were still there, it was a sign from God. Of what? I have no idea. But lo and behold, she was still there when I walked back, so I picked her up and cleaned her off and set her on top of the Christmas tree.

Apparently, she's never left her perch. This picture was taken today, or yesterday maybe, and uploaded to my Facebook. It absolutely made my ~~day~~ month.

As you've guessed, the people I met in Iceland were awesome; they really did become my family! I love them dearly, and miss them epically.

By the way, how did she get the name Crystal? I know it was part of a joke... but I can't remember...

For the Longest.

2011-03-03T22:08:00.000-08:00

Day Two
A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

Hmm...

Yeah, the bride and groom there? Two of my closest friends ever. And the dork trying to kiss me? One of the coolest guys I've ever known. The only one missing from this particular picture...

(Cue unflattering picture of me!) Elder Jakob Hansen!
Who should seriously consider coming home now.

Trendy, I Know.

2011-03-02T12:20:00.000-08:00

I have nothing of interest to blog about at the moment... Actually, I do, but that kind of stuff gets wrapped up in my letters to Elder Hansen or emails to Eric. Super fun awesome times! So here's me cheating and doing the 30 pictures in 30 days trend... Feel free to skip.

Day Uno
A Picture of Yourself and Fifteen Facts
1. I have catch-phrases. Always have, always will! The two most currents ones: "Party all the time!" and "Super Awesome Fun Times!"
2. I found out in the last six months that I have celiac disease. I can't eat wheat, barley or rye but life has never been better!
3. My favorite scientist is Carl Sagan.
4. My favorite actor is Nathan Fillion.
5. My favorite non-fiction author is James Rollins...
6. ...but my favorite non-fiction novel is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.
7. I have the memory of a stick, and thus carry around a composition notebook to remember stuffs.
8. Except for the hot dog I had at lunch today, I'm probably a vegetarian.
9. I own two lightsabers, one of which I bought in Iceland.
10. I often assign arbitrary nicknames to people in my head in order to remember them. For the longest time my friend Fazil, who I met in Iceland, was "Eddy" in my head.
11. I have trouble deleting photgraphs.
12. I. Love. Plaid.
13. I have a fish named Marvin who is so much stupider than other fish.
14. Carmex saves my life daily. True facts!
15. I love all things giraffe.

Don't Substitute, You Sound Silly

2011-02-25T18:02:00.000-08:00

I curse.

That's right--I have wicked road-rage, hate human stupidity and get angry when I disappoint myself on a mid-term exam...so I curse. There are some words I will say more than others, and there are some words I avoid altogether, be it because they offend others too much or are not aesthetically pleasing. Usually it's the latter.

I curse because some words make me feel better than others in certain situations. For example, I frequently travel between Flagstaff and Mesa to attend classes and see friends and family. When I am driving 80 mph up the I-17 trying my hardest to make it into town before a storm hits or class starts, I don't want to be cut off by a minivan going 60 (or sometimes even 40--are you kidding me?) mph. I see red, but I know there is no point in aggressively retaliating, nor time, so my weapon of choice to relieve the bubbling cauldron of irritation and contempt in my stomach is to swear in their general direction. Oh, and during the first week in my new two-story apartment, I managed to break my big toe walking down the stairs in the dark. Luckily, studies have shown that swearing helps ease pain, so like a boss, I took the opportunity to swear then as well. And crawl into a ball on the floor.

The same study demonstrated too that more common words do not have the same effect, and for all things good and holy I would like to say that "frick," "dang," "stuff" and "poop" are more common than their alternatives. And they are also really annoying.

I bring this up because recently, I read a blog post written by an acquaintance that omitted the word "bastard" when describing the illegitimate child of a woman they had seen on a television show; they went so far as to put "[insert curse word]" in it's place. Put simply: I think that is incredibly stupid. In some instances, "bastard" is indeed a curse word, however it does have a definition all of it's own, one that predates the offensive definition it is used for most often these days. It means--wait for it--illegitimate child! And hey, since we're so cool with our Anglo-Saxon selves, the English language allows for the use of synonyms! If you don't like the word "bastard," use "illegitimate" instead of something childish like "[use your imagination]."

What I'm getting at here is... Use the right word, or don't.

I understand why people take offense to certain swear words, or all swear words, which is why I have omitted them myself (trust me--there are a couple tasteful places where swearing would drive my point home). I am also not advocating for people to take the Lord's name in vain (though hey, remember that some of us celebrate different gods), teach their children to swear, cuss everyday or even club baby seals, but instead: if you want to swear because it is appropriate for the situation, do it--it's okay and often helpful:

"That's one of the reasons that I think people should not overuse profanity in their speech and writing," says Pinker. "That's not because I'm a prude, but because it blunts [swear words] of their power when you do need them. You should save them for just the right occasions."

And in the case of "frick" and "gosh," and my LDS friends, I have been told on several occasions that the use of substitutes is just as offensive to Heavenly Father as the originals, because they all "mean" the same thing, or express the same sentiment. I don't have any doctrinal basis for this idea, but I always welcome discussion!

Swimming

2010-12-08T06:27:00.000-08:00

Alright. Iceland is famous for geothermal activity, yes?? Yes. They sit on a rift zone and a mantle plume, for cryin' out loud. So they have a lot of hot water, and they make use of it by harnessing it for electricity, where the only by-product is hot water, which they use to heat homes, showers and pools.

Today, I'd like to take a moment to discuss the pools. First of all: they're wonderful. It can be -4 degrees (C) outside, and I can guarantee you that you'll want to be at the pool; they're warm and therapeutic and just the ticket for stressed out college kids, lemmetellya.

However... there's one tiny little detail that caught me off guard the first time I went: you have to shower naked before entering the pool. No swimsuit, no towel, and there are no curtains in the washroom (but there is often someone there enforcing the rule...). I am certainly not used to this, and I would imagine many Americans would equate this to some strange European ideology (like nuclear power or socialism), but comparing the condition of these pools to the public pools I've been to in Arizona... it's a policy I wouldn't mind implementing (at least the requiring people to shower part, not necessarily the naked part, since it is America, afterall...).

Anyways, here is the card I received at the front desk about showering:

"Welcome to the Thermal pools in Reykjavik

"Dear Guest,
"Hygiene and safety are out priority, so please observe the following rules:
"Please take off your shoes before entering the changing room, you can either keep them in the racks in front of the changing rooms or together with your clothes in your locker. Every guest is required to wash thoroughly without swimsuit before entering the pool and also to take a shower after using the steam bath.
"The hot water in our pools has a positive effect on body and soul, relaxes stiff muscles an joints and reduces stress symptoms. We hop that you will have a pleasant stay in the pools, relax in the hot pots an the steam bath. Enjoy swimming in the hot water and breathe in the pure and fresh air."

(A picture of the back of the card with a helpful diagram)

Svið

2010-12-08T06:04:00.000-08:00

Are you ready for this? I ate sheep's head.

(Pictures by Kara Woo unless otherwise noted.)

So after our trip to Gullfoss/Geysir and Rettir (which, at the time I am writing this post, has occurred ages ago), Kara, Edvardas and a few others got the brilliant idea to cook and eat a traditional Icelandic dish: Svið. Apparently we didn't see enough sheep that day.

Nope, we had to see frozen, dead sheep too, just to round it all out. In the bus terminal down the road, as well as several restaurants downtown, you can find traditional dishes like svið, lifrarpylsa and hákarl, but from what I've heard, Icelanders don't typically eat this stuff. Only for really special occasions, like Christmas or Þorrablót, a traditional feast early in the year... I believe svið is supposed to be served with a brown sauce, or some such, but we were just in it to try it, so they only ended up being boiled and served with green onions and potatoes:

In all honesty, if you can get over the "I'm eating head" part, and can get some meat off the bone, it doesn't taste bad! I equate it to oily (or slimey) roast beef. And yes: the teeth and tongue were included, but the eyes were not (apparently they're a delicacy in and of themselves, somewhere...):

(Photo by Michelle Bethell)

In the immortal words of... whoever the marketing director of Cambell's Soup is: mm, mm, good!

Obligatory Gratitude Post (Part I)

2010-11-24T16:07:00.000-08:00

Part II is here.

Gratitude is easy, or rather, giving thanks is easy. Many people do it daily in prayer, and on Thanksgiving especially--people often list or take note of all the things they are grateful for while sitting around the kitchen table or even on their Facebook statuses, it is just that easy. Then they go on to eat your way through some L-tryptophan and conclude with a nap on the couch, a tradition I will always uphold!

Giving back is hard. Blessing someone else's life is hard. It requires effort and heart and often cannot be formatted to fit 140 characters... However, it's something we can and should do more often.

It is the ultimate sign of gratitude, as well as so many other aspects we lay claim to as humans, like love, respect and friendship.

This Thanksgiving I think we should focus more on what we can do for our loved ones--and even acquaintances and strangers on the street--rather than what they can or have done for us.

Gobble, gobble!

Obligatory Gratitude Post (Part II)

2010-11-24T15:46:00.000-08:00

Part I is here.

Tomorrow I have the opportunity to have "Gamli-giving," which is the Icelandicized psuedo-Thanksgiving made in the style of the poor, displaced college students living here in Gamli Gardur. We've managed to find a turkey and there will be people and food and... well, I'm sure it will be a sight to behold and I will take pictures and post about it later--you know how I do.

Back in October, around Canadian Thanksgiving, I was asked what American Thanksgiving was about in relation to the date, since American Thanksgiving is observed in November. The askee figured it had to do with a significant event, like the "first" Thanksgiving or when our ancestors first arrived at Plymouth Rock. My answer? "It marks the beginning of the Christmas shopping season!"

I stand by the answer, because it is true.

...and technically we should be giving thanks every day, not just the fourth Thursday in November or the second Monday in October (but only if it's a leap year and the Queen is alive; special arrangements are made for any years ending in "5" or have born witness to a "blue moon," or you know, however the Canadians do it...) but I will admit, it is a nice thought: that everyone you know is gathering around a table that evening ~~to gorge on turkey~~ in gratitude.

This year I am especially grateful: I have had the amazing opportunity to come to Iceland! And if that was not enough, I was further blessed to get to know some beautiful new people who've taught me much about myself and what lies out there in the world around me. Ryan and Michelle especially--they've helped me with those typical "struggling undergrad" troubles, made this place home, and made sure that I changed clothes every once in a while so I didn't stink! I can't help but to think about everyone else here as very spirited friends, and would list them all out one-by-one and give the psychoanalytical breakdown I have filed in my noggin for them in an effort to tell them how much I appreciate who they are and that they chose to come to Iceland, of all places, but that might get a little creepy. Feel free to ask though!

I've also had the opportunity to hear first hand about war and oppression from those who grew up with it and are now fighting against it. I get to hear stories about regimes in the Middle East, including the Taliban, which has been referred to as "the shit-group" many times now, and the policies they've enforced, especially those impacting women. All I can say is that I am so grateful that I did not have to grow up in that environment and that I do not have to return to it... But that will never feel like enough.

This year... this semester... this Thanksgiving day is one I hope I will never forget. I am not one to hold hope for humanity, but if there is any hope in me left, it will be manifested tomorrow when I can stop and stare and truly focus on all that I have been blessed with and all that I can be doing to bless the lives of those around me...

Gobble, Gobble!

Thingvellir (Þingvellir)

2010-11-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

You know you are in one of the most beautiful places on the planet when your pictures look increasingly more terrible (terribler should so be a word) to you the longer you go without looking a them. No, seriously! I'm about to post a bunch of pictures of Thingvellir, the site of Iceland's first parliamentary gathering and the boundary where the North American and Eurasia tectonic plates diverge and I hate all of them.

It's such a cool place! Essentially what you've got is this big rift valley where the sea floor is spreading--yes, the sea floor. Only above water. It's amazing! In fact, Iceland is one of two places in the world where we can see this kind of rifting, the other being the Great Rift Valley in Africa. In the above picture you can see that this is indeed a valley, and on the east you have the Almannagjá, which is the boundary of the North American plate.

It's huge--it's just one big wall of basalt. On the other side of the valley lies Hrafnagjá, which is more or less the same thing only for the Eurasia plate. In between lie fissures, the result of faulting, etc. Some are filled with water from the nearby Lake Þingvallavatn:

It's just a spectacular area all around, rich with both Icelandic history and geologic history... A must see!

I See Candy Dinosaurs...

2010-11-13T04:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, so not every trip I've been on here in Iceland has been to see waterfalls or volcanoes, and years from now when I'm recalling memories I am sure that it's nights like last night that I will remember the most... Seriously, the ab workout I got from laughing was painful!

As you've seen before, we all share a kitchen, so eating and cooking together is a pretty normal thing, and highly encouraged! "Social interaction is good, Leah?" Yes, social interaction is very good. Social interaction leads to geology t-shirt franchises, Raptor Jesus, zombies and mummification and gummy sharks...

Candy is 50% off in Iceland on Saturdays, so yesterday, during the course of eating dinner, we decided that at midnight we were going to go get candy, since candy beats going to the bars any day. The entire night we had some pretty interesting conversations, some of which I will list here so that I don't forget, cause they're just too awesome to forget...

Jesus is my homeboy.
Velociraptor Awareness Day is a totally legit (internet-inspired) holiday and everyone should just recognize my genius in celebrating it.
Jesus Rocks.
Raptor Jesus is totally a thing.
Pistachio ice cream is the best/worst thing on the planet, circle one.
Ryan is going to be the best looking zombie around now that he only eats processed meats with a nice MSG dry-rub. Oh, and ice cream. And candy.
I see dinosaurs... candy dinosaurs.
When I die and it comes down to figuring out where I went wrong in this life, I will be condemned for last night.
What is douche? Is that where douchebag comes from?
Flicking Ryan's ear isn't nice and making him pick up cards off the floor is sexist.
I'm going to come into your room at night and bite you. You won't know the difference!

Okay, so they may not sound awesome to you, but they're awesome to me, and downright HIGH-larious. :| Shuddup, this is mah blog.

Commence normal programming in 3...2...

Gullfoss & Geysir

2010-11-12T07:11:00.000-08:00

On the same trip as the sheep round-up I got to go to Gullfoss, or "Golden Falls," and Geysir.

Seriously, go look Gullfoss up on Wikipedia or Google Images (especially of those in the wintertime!!). My pictures do not do it ANY justice. It's a glacier waterfall, so the water is a murky color, for which it gets it's name from. There is also a story about a woman, Sigríður Tómasdóttir, walking all the way to Reykjavik in order to save this waterfall from being used to produce electricity like many of the other waterfalls in Iceland...

From here we went to Haukadalur, or the Golden Circle, where Geysir and Strokkur are located.

Geysir (from which the word "geyser" originates) has been extremely effected by tectonic activity over the years leading to periods when the watershed had to be manipulated by man-made ditches and soap for the geyser to erupt. Today, such efforts only happen on rare occasions and Geysir doesn't erupt. This is a natural process for any geyser--even the littlest of shifting can effect a geyser (or cause one), which makes them so important in studying earthquake prediction. Strokkur is the main attraction now in this particular geothermal spot as it erupts every 3-8 minutes.

There are also several other smaller geysers and pools in the area...

Also... if they tell you not to climb around Geysir (in my defense, the ropes barely came to my shins) it's because of these guys:

Boiling mud pots. Yaaay! (More of these later!) But look... rocks...

I like rocks.

Réttir

2010-11-12T06:27:00.000-08:00

So for my first trip out of Reykjavik I had the opportunity to participate in an Icelandic tradition: Réttir, or the annual sheep round-up. Farmers all over Iceland go into the mountains where the sheep have been grazing for the summer and herd them back to their farms for the winter, and in order to separate which sheep belong to which farmers, they bring them first to these gigantic stone circles for sorting.

In Iceland, it is tough for farmers to make a living on farming alone, which is evidenced by the interesting characters you see at these round-ups. For example, we saw several people wandering around with a cigarette in one hand, a beer in another, and a sheep between their legs!

There is a central circle where a portion of the sheep are kept while the farmer's families go around checking tags and marking to see which are theirs. Spectators stand on the walls, or sometimes get down and dirty as well!

It's chaos. At one point, one of the sheep jumped over the fence the farmers use to get in and out of the inner circle and proceeded to jump over the stone walls on the outside into one of the pens!

It was a really fun experience, and supposedly the farmers really ham it up sometimes and sing some of the old songs for the tourists. That didn't happen this time, but I highly recommend attending if you're in Iceland in September!!

My Apologies (or Leah Has Lots Of Cool Pictures To Show You, But Here's One Showing Her Note To Continually Remind Her To Blog)

2010-11-12T05:25:00.000-08:00

I need a better system.

Oh, and my cool Icelandic Book of Mormon, but more on that later....

Which is it?

2010-10-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

"People should not be forgotten" or "people cannot be forgotten?"

There are pieces of my memory that I don't wish to revisit because I have done so already. I have made peace and am ready to move forward... however, social networking sites not only allow but almost invite the people connected with such memories to implore into my condition. They are even brazen enough to be shocked when they see where I have managed to find myself in life, because they expect me to be broken, maybe even cleaving unto some half-hearted relationship as a means of salvation.

But that is not the case. I am very happy in life and feel successful, that is what matters. At the same time, I recognize that they could not have helped me when I asked them to and that though it may sting, the mark of their era has still been made on my life and it is part of who I am today.

I am moving on and their words no longer affect me; there is a certain air of "too little, too late" that I can't help but spin in their direction. They will not leave me alone, however, whether they breathe on Earth or live on in my memories, because God knows those will never again escape me. But my question remains... with such attachments, is it that people should not be forgotten or that they cannot be forgotten? Is it that they are apart of us just as much as our memories or that we refuse to give them up to anonymity because we are afraid of letting go?

Family Dinner

2010-10-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

So when we first moved in and starting exploring our surroundings--that is to say we were no longer shy about putting our food in the refrigerators or using the kitchen when someone else was occupying it as well--there came the occasional murmuring of having a dinner for the residents of our floor to get to know one another. When we found out that the people on the third floor ate dinner together regularly, such murmurings congealed to form a real idea, and from that came what I lovingly refer to as the Family Dinner...

On the menu was: baked salmon with cream cheese, tomatoes and mushrooms, steamed broccoli, roasted potatoes and carrots and red wine. Michelle and Ryan acquired the ingredients and did most of the preparation and cooking and they did a FANTASTIC job, no matter what Shell says about "her standards."

The food was delicious--end of story. And beyond that, we all had a great time! Mind you, the entire floor did not participate, but those of us who did enjoyed some great conversation and companionship that brought us all closer together, a quality everyone should seek in their neighbors.

Nick more or less lives in Iceland. He proved the wine, as you can see!
Ryan is awesome, despite being from Canada!
Judy is from China and is in Iceland studying English!

It was a great deal of fun and we're planning on doing it again. In fact, I have been contracted to do Mexican food since I skipped out on cooking this time, hahaha! Dia De Los Muertos is quickly approaching as well, so stay tuned to see what kind of mess I concoct then!

The Big H

2010-10-11T17:13:00.000-07:00

Homesickness. They warn us all against it, but it's the one battle we cannot adequately prepare for until it is knocking at our door. I remember the pre-departure* meeting when they diagrammed the phases we would find ourselves going through during our experience, and it was more or less a rollercoaster... and as much as I would like to say that my experience has indeed been a bit of a rollercoaster, and give you tips on how to combat it... I can't. Let's see if you can get anything from this though...

Homesickness affects each of us in a different way. When I first started at NAU I was hit hard by how much I missed my friends and how little I knew of my surroundings. The first two or three weekends were the worst because with the weekend came time, and with too much time on my hands I would think about all things I could be doing at home, where not only did I have people to talk to all the time but also good food--adjusting to college cuisine and "cooking" for myself was a big challenge for me. I expected much of the same when I came to Iceland, and though there have been days when I wish for a better supermarket or my car, I don't really get homesick.

I think this is because of three reasons:

I have been kept busy or purposefully keeping busy. When I first arrived there were a great deal of logistical problems I had to deal with that resulted from a string of mis-communications. Most people won't have the same trouble, and were I able to do it over I would have fixed the problem a lot sooner on than how it is going now, as the problem is still not fixed. Regardless, having to go to the various offices and meetings kept me out of my room and out of my mind--I didn't have time to miss home. On top of that I'm also here to take classes and explore my surroundings, so trips to the grocery store, bars, restaurants or tourist traps factored into keeping busy as well. Also, I must say it's important to remember the little stuff like maintaining the cleanliness of your room or doing laundry; it is a good way to keep moving. There were a couple times that even taking a shower helped because it was alone time and refreshing. And most importantly: it's something to do!
I found people to talk to. Both years in my dorm at NAU I had very little interaction with my neighbors, and they all spoke English! Living in an international dorm here, I didn't expect to be able to interact so openly with my peers as I have found to be the case--because we have no choice but to share the common areas, we are almost guaranteed to interact and from there friendships are formed. There is some language barrier, but with a little patience and a good sense of humor it is easily overcome. There have just been several instances when mindless chit-chatting with someone in the kitchen has saved my sanity after an intense study session or after receiving bad news... and don't get me started on our "Bitch Clubs," which is just when several of us end up in the kitchen or hallway at once and complain about the various injustices we have faced that day.
I have (so far) been open to new experiences! There are some times when complaining is unavoidable (and often therapeutic), but I have found that when you choose to live somewhere new for any reason, it's best not to whine. Whining makes everything ten times more difficult. Not having access to a car, much less MY car, has been a big point of contention with me especially when it comes to grocery shopping, but when you focus on what you don't have you forget all the things you do have. Being open to having to walk a bit further to classes, go to multiple places for groceries or unusual entertainment makes the experience much more enjoyable for all those involved. Getting lost or choosing the path less traveled though it may be longer opens all kinds of doors for you!

So maybe there is a way to prepare yourself for homesickness! In any case, my best advice is to just push through it. It's a phase and to liken it to one of my favorite analogies of all time: homesickness is the rain-wall of your mesocyclone, and once you push through it you'll be able to see and enjoy the tornado you've been chasing. Enjoy!

*Holy crap, it feels weird to say that I "remember" the pre-departure stage. I even remember standing at the bus stop after getting my application on the phone with my parents, who had no idea I was thinking about doing this, much less had begun the process for it! Sometimes it's just good to reflect on how far you've come... and now it's seven weeks into the semester and I have ten more to go! Holy expletive.

Fruit Tea & Paratabs

2010-10-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

I have a bunch of blogs queued up already that are much more interesting than this one, but I just felt the need to pay dues to some absolutely wonderful people I've had the pleasure to meet here...

Yesterday, Friday, I started my geology courses--FINALLY. I also woke up with a sore throat. By the time I came back from my last class at about 15:00 I was in the throes of that cursed thing we call the Flu. During class I had begun shaking and crying from the aches and pain; I had a fever and felt nauseous and congested. To put it lightly, I was absolutely miserable and knew that I wasn't going to be able to make it all the way to the pharmacy.

Enter "absolutely wonderful people..." I asked Shell if I she could go to the store for me today and she agreed, even going so far as to giving me a hug and just letting me collapse for a moment. Then, when I made it back to my room, Steven, an international student from Ireland, asked what was up and I explained to him how I felt. He was out and volunteered to check the 10-11 and see if there was something he could pick up for me. He ended up bringing me some fruit tea that more or less was a godsend.

I feel much better today. I'm no longer shaking or in pain, just congested and occasionally nauseous. The moral of the story, however, is a two-parter: 1) stock up on medication when you first arrive, you never know when you'll get sick and 2) make friends and then be very, very grateful for them. It's wrong to wish ailment on anyone, but if either of them get sick, I will be there to help them!!

(Also--SLEEP! That's probably the one thing I haven't been doing enough of here, and you don't realize how important it is until you get sick and end up sleeping for 17 hours.)

Rebel Alliance Kicks

2010-09-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

They need to be touched up... because they can be more... bleached... than they are now...

And I'm aware that you can see where I had to go back with a permanent marker to make the lines more crisp...

...and yes, the proportions might be a little off...

But WHATEVER I'M AWESOME.

Beaches of Reykjavik, Likely Part 1 of Many

2010-09-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

Like I've mentioned before, the beach is just a short walk from my dorm, really in any direction. See:

(Click to enlargenate)

The star right there--yeah, that's me. All that blue? That's the North Atlantic Ocean, baby! This is a big deal to me, of course, because I am from Arizona, and unless California falls off (which it won't, Hollywood) we ain't gettin' any beach-front property (but can I interest you in the London Bridge?).

On the very first day I met my neighbor across the hall and we became fast friends; her name is Michelle and she'll likely show up several times on this blog. In this case, we decided that we needed to get out and get some air, so we walked up Hringbraut to the beach and just followed the path around.

Me being me, I couldn't accept that there was no path down to the actual beach and promptly dropped my things and hauled butt down the rock wall. Why not? I mean, sure, I didn't have insurance at the time (Michelle was very keen on reminding me that it "only takes one rock") and wasn't (isn't) legal... but really, why not?

After that adventure we continued to roam the coast. We weren't entirely sure where we were going, but that's half the fun!

Black sand beaches... I'm more or less in love with them, let me tell you!

In the end, we found our way safely back home. Come to find out, we traveled the coast all along that little arm to the NW of us! At the very tip is a lighthouse, which I am planning to return to one of these nights so that I might get a better view of the Northern Lights, so stay tuned!

Picture Wall

2010-09-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

This is the wall directly across the room from my bed. It was kind of daunting how large and... blank... it was, so I was quick to cut up a couple maps and taped up a volcano brochure just to jazz it up. Right now I have a picture of my boyfriend, my Serenity badge, a letter from a good friend back home, some to-do lists, and of course the Geologic Time Scale up there. (Since this picture I've added a couple random drawings I did during football games.)

I'm only here for three more months, but this is still my home for that amount of time. I'd really appreciate it you sent me letters or postcards or any sort of random stuff to put up! I'll return the favor!

(Address is on right-hand column.)

Hey guys...

2010-09-25T18:11:00.000-07:00

I'm in Iceland now, so most of my blogging will be going down over at To Iceland Go I!

Check it out, it's probably more interesting anyways! :P

Hardfiskur

2010-09-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

I've never been one to be shy about trying new food, and I take the "when in Rome" approach to heart, so I was really looking forward to trying all the delicacies Iceland had to offer long before I arrived.

Fortunately, all of the "strange" foods are merely traditional, meaning they're only eaten at holidays or fancy parties instead of on a day-to-day basis... So things like sheep's head jam is not a common item at the dinner table.

Sheep's head jam... I'll let that sink in... Mm, mm, good!

The first food I tried is more for tourists... it's called Hardfiskur and is basically fish jerky. I love it, personally.

Fish is a major export of Iceland, of course. In fact, in one of my first lectures our guest speaker repeatedly shouted at us "to know anything about Iceland, YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT FISH!" He even went so far as to say that besides Bjork, Keiko is the most famous Icelander around the world. You know it's true...

So again, more for the tourists than the actual Icelanders, and therefore more expensive, but very yummy; I highly recommend giving it a try!

The Obligatory Weather Blog

2010-09-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

(Ignore the poor quality; I used my webcam)

I don't have a great view from my window, it's really just of a small grassy area with a table and some big gray buildings... But one of the first few days I decided to go out and sit at the table in between the rain storms, just because. This picture was taken at about 20:30 and is just a sampling of the gorgeous weather... it rained every day for the first week or two... Which is like Heaven for me.

Not all people feel that way though, understandably. Getting drunk when it's gloomy outside seems to be the favorite coping mechanism, at least amongst the international students. :P

Home Is Where The Heart Is...

2010-09-24T10:19:00.000-07:00

...hopefully there's a bed there as well.

So this weekend I will have been here one month! I am so excited to mark the occasion by just being able to stay in Iceland for the next three! It's just been a really wild ride, and I apologize profusely for not blogging--I promise I will make up for it!

In the last month I have been in and out of various offices trying to justify staying here when the law (and pretty much everyone I've spoken too concerning the issue) says that I should not have been allowed to come in the first place and need to leave immediately. My student visa has yet to be approved and it is explicitly stated that a person cannot be in Iceland while they have a pending application. And without going into further details--because I've been through them backwards and forwards several times a day for the past month--I can tell you that I will be staying. For as long as possible. And hopefully my visa will be settled... eh, before I leave would be nice!

Regardless of how stressful this venture has been, I am still quite blessed to be here. I have my own room with a very comfortable bed (NAU take note!) and is just five minutes from the beach, I will be starting geology courses next week, I've made some very interesting friends, a couple of which I hope to stay in contact with long after this semester is over, I have stood where two continental plates are rifting apart (a religious experience for me, I tell ya!), and the weather is just beautiful all the time... The scenery itself and just having a new place to explore easily makes up for the bureaucracy they put you through in order to stay.

When I was in the Reykjavik airport I was able to talk to one of my best friends, Kenzie, who very kindly listened to me deliriously gripe about not having a nice warm bed to snuggle up in after so much travelling... Ha, with all that has been going on, those feelings have come back on occasion, repeatedly making me realize how truly grateful I am to have a bed in the first place. I've not been through war, and the only times I've slept on dirt have been on my own accord, so maybe I don't deserve to be so thankful, but I am... There have just been days when I've felt hopeless and cold after walking back and forth through the rain and not getting the answers I was searching for... and the only comfort is being able to curl up in my bed under the NAU afghan my mom crocheted me.

Okay, so enough of the sentimental crap, you wanna see pictures, doncha?

1. View of my desk and more or less the room.

2. A view directly on to the left of the door once you walk in... Sink, cabinet, etc.

3. Said cabinet... it's so roomy!

4. The wardrobe directly to your right once you walk inside. Again, very roomy.

5. My shelves, they partition the rest of the room from the sink area.

In Transit

2010-09-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

So... I'm in Iceland now! It's been almost a week since this whole process has started, so I figured now is a good time to reflect...

To save on money and time, my parents and I decided it would be best if we flew to Boston and waited overnight in the airport for my flight into Reykjavik. In theory, this was a good plan and I would be willing to do it again. However, there were a couple complications that I would seek to consider and plan for better next time. Namely:

1) Food. I recently discovered that I am allergic to wheat! This immediately prevents me from eating anything of substance. :P Anything with wheat flour is out: hamburger buns, pizza crust, donuts, pastries, breaded chicken, pretzels... you get the idea. Finding cheap food in an airport is like trying to find the Titanic on Mars. Trying to find cheap food that doesn't have any wheat on it.... Okay, stop laughing. I'm being serious here!

2) Sleeping. For some reason that only God knows I bet, the Boston/Logan airport doesn't have chairs without armrests. Not. Conducive. To. Sleeping. Which... I guess is good... because there were other people with the same idea as us, and then a couple shady characters... So you don't want to be completely asleep, in order to feel your backpack suddenly go missing, but I still had another day and night (and day) of travelling ahead of me. Be sure to get a good nights rest the night before you head out at the very least.

3) Airport security. Yes, collective groan indeed. Compared to what I wanted to bring, I packed very lightly, and as a way to cut down on luggage I decided that I would wear layers and pack travel sized toiletries instead of packing full-scale in my carry-on. This was a bittersweet decision, and though it helped immensely when I got to campus, it bogged me down quite a bit in the security lane. With all the many restrictions, I had three of those gray buckets, as well as my bag. It wasn't as time consuming as say the couple with three kids who haven't been to the airport in the last ten years, but it was time enough.

My experience in the Reykjavik airport went much the same way. As soon as I got off the plane we were sent through security and customs, of course, but because my flight didn't get in until midnight and the airport is 45 minutes out of town, I once again opted to just stay in the airport overnight. In Boston I had my dad to keep me company, and the incredibly annoying floor cleaning man who was getting off on waking everyone up, but in Iceland it was just me. Luckily I found a place near the bathroom where a couple of other people were staying and there was an outlet so I could use my computer, but if I ever do this again... I will definitely get a hotel room (airport security was fervent about no sleeping on the floor). Come Monday morning, after only dozing for a handful of minutes between the two previous nights, I was desperate for a big, warm, comfy bed.

But regardless, I managed to find the currency exchange, drink a Red Bull, collect a few maps, get on the right bus and make it safely to campus.

Reason #5 Why I'll Never Get Married

2010-06-18T05:17:00.000-07:00

I sleep in a nest with (on average) three blankets, four pillows, a comforter and *ahem* a stuffed Nemo.

Reason #4 Why I'll Never Get Married

2010-05-23T19:43:00.002-07:00

When I like a song that is outside of my "regular" genre (Country) I'll listen to it obsessively, until it is absolutely revolting to me.

Reason #3 Why I'll Never Get Married

2010-05-23T19:43:00.001-07:00

I quote movies, especially Star Wars, on a daily basis.

Reason #2 Why I'll Never Get Married

2010-05-23T19:42:00.002-07:00

I can't stay in the same place for too long

Reason #1 Why I'll Never Get Married

2010-05-23T19:42:00.001-07:00

I am making a list of reasons why I'll never get married.

I am going to list all the reasons I will never get married. This isn't a dig at marriage, those who are getting married, or even at myself--it's funny. Or something. Quit giving me that look!

Whatever, it's my blog--I'll do what I want!

Velkomin! (Welcome!)

2010-05-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

This August through December I will be studying abroad in Iceland! So long as the Volcano Gods allow me to...but I'm a geophysicist major, and if you know me at all: I will find a way over there no matter what.

Anyways, this blog is just a way to record my experience and adventures, so please feel free to comment and look around! Also, at the very bottom is a live newsfeed displaying the latest news involving Iceland, if you're interested.

:Db

Your Eyes are the Size of the Moon

2010-04-26T01:43:00.000-07:00

I'm really excited to go to Iceland, and when things start getting real I'll probably splinter off and start a blog entirely dedicated to my adventures in Iceland. But this is just to rant about the ridiculous process I'm going through right now...

So when I first decided to do this I literally only had a week, maybe two at the most, to finish the application. The paperwork was basic, but I also had to write two essays, get official transcripts from the god-forsaken Registrar, and two faculty recommendation letters. I felt like a chicken with my head cut off:

Me: "Can't you just charge it to my LOUIE?"

Registrar Cashier: "No, we don't do that anymore. Nor do we take Visa. Also, it's $10 more for your transcripts in person."

Me: "This deadline for the passport, how important is it?"

Advisors: "Not all that important, they'll accept your application without one, but you can't be considered or accepted without it."

Me: Rushes out to get passport, throws down extra $100 for it to be expedited, finds out I could have waited until now... :|

That was the fun part though. The professors that gave me my recommendation letters had no qualms about doing it for me, which greatly strengthened my resolve and faith in actually being accepted. And then I WAS accepted, and life was great! The first thing I did was get my paperwork, second I called my mom and sent a few select text messages and then third I threw the paperwork aside.

You have to remember, classes are still in full-swing at this point. I'm barely hanging on in Calculus 3, I hadn't yet figured out that no matter what I say in the HUM discussions my HUM Profa. is still going to grade based on the class quantity instead of quality, and then there was philosophy and evolution that needed to be taken care of... I didn't have time!! I looked at them occasionally to reassure myself that I was going and that I could procrastinate another day.. but it wasn't until about a week ago that I started seriously considering them.

Luckily none of it is too strenuous, just tedious. For example:

I have to apply straight to the Univ. of Iceland for housing and registration purposes, like when I applied to NAU way back when. However, unlike NAU, the Univ. of Iceland application has to be submitted first online, then via mail, along with a passport photo and my official transcripts. Due: May 1st
E-Courses are the courses I have discussed with my academic advisor and have set in stone for me to take while abroad. My advisor was changed around the same time that I was accepted, and unfortunately my new advisor didn't realize that he had to approve of the non-geology classes too, since he's the only academic advisor I have. Due: April 30th
Online paperwork is online. However, online paperwork requires my height, weight and blood type. I think it's fairly reasonable that I don't know my blood type considering I hate anything having to do with blood and can't even remember the day I had my blood drawn because I was so upset. I've also switched doctors about a thousand times since starting college, so I had to guess as to who my primary physician is in order to ask for them to call me back Monday morning with an answer. Due: April 30th
Flight itinerary. This is another one of those "there's a deadline, and we'll convince you to adhere to the deadline but there really is no reason for it" things. If I had the money to buy tickets right now, I probably would. But I don't, since this is the end of the semester and all the money I set aside for it has now been divied up into shipping costs for all these applications, etc. Due: April 30th or whenever.
The Mandatory Pre-Departure Meetings were this past Saturday. They were mostly for parents, though I was surprised at how few parents were there. It was nice to have my parents there, to see how a-part-of-this they are becoming... also, I got a pen and a personalized folder! It's the little things in life.
The ISEP paperwork is probably the second most important facet in this... and luckily it's filled with lots of "congratulations" and the hardest thing I had to do was get special health insurance. Even still, Iceland has national healthcare and thus only requires me to pay for insurance that provides for "Medical Evacuation and Repatriation." That's it. No more. But it was only $50 compared to $300, and I'll only be there for four months. Due: April 28th
THE BIG KAHUNA is the Visa app, which literally scares the crap out of me. I had two websites telling me different processes to go by and were more or less threatening decapitation if I didn't do it the correct way. I went in to get help from my advisor, and her comforting words were "this is the worse visa app I have seen so far." Oh yeah, go me. WHO is going to Iceland that they need to be so elitist?! I have to submit: the printed application (which is in Icelandic), a photocopy of my passport, passport sized photos, proof of accepted health insurance, proof of financial support, housing certificate, school confirmation, classes registration, proof that I have given someone legal authorization in case I die, and a criminal background check that Arizona doesn't provide! So tomorrow I get to be fingerprinted in order to get a background check rush-ordered from the FBI! The upside is that I get to wire-transfer $70 to Iceland! What? I feel so...international...having to make a wire transfer. Don't hate! Due: July 15th

AND GUESS WHEN FINALS ARE! MAY 3rd-7th.

So yeah, I'm a tad bit stressed out right now. I'm probably not going to pass Calc3, but I'm going to Iceland and can re-take it later on, especially now since I'll be at NAU a year longer. The sad part is that I will be losing my scholarship because of math. But I'm going to Iceland. This week is going to drag on forever, I can feel it alright. But I'm going to Iceland.

Have I mentioned that I'm going to Iceland?

Just hang on.

2010-03-27T23:23:00.001-07:00

If this is the sky

Why am I drowning?

If those are my wings

Why am I flailing?

If these are my claws

Why am I crawling?

If this is not not that hard

Why am I struggling?

I watched "2012" last night...

2010-03-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

(Click to enlarge)

And it's not NEARLY as epic as the real thing. ;) California isn't going to break up and sink into the ocean, Africa isn't going to uplift, and there isn't enough water of this whole entire planet to flood like that--I mean, c'mon! And to top it all off, you have to go and only give Yellowstone ONE eruption!? That's small beans! SMALL BEANS!

I am going to be the crazy fanatic standing on the mountain heralding (and broadcasting live) the eruption. "I have goosebumps, people." :Db I know, you love me.

2010-02-24T16:38:00.001-08:00

Please read this.

Or the Comeback of the Year?

2010-02-21T16:42:00.000-08:00

I used to do this thing when I was a kid where I would swing all of my hair in position over my head and in front of my face and then just stand in the shower so that all of the water would run trails through my hair and over my face and it'd almost feel like I was drowning...and I liked it.

I only mention this because I did it again today at 1AM in an effort to clear my head and realign myself because I feel like I am drowning in a metaphorical sense. Hmm. It's in such a way that I can recognize that I have been for a long time and have only recently been able to step outside of myself and see what is going on:

It's just the Sophomore Slump.

I'm scared of drowning, which is why I complain so much about this Sophomore Slump action for which I am apologizing. I'd much rather die by fire than by water. I'm prepared to go down in flames, rather than being pulled under.

Evolution vs. Creationism

2010-02-17T20:10:00.000-08:00

It is in man's best interests to know by what means he was created, or so we are taught. School counselors, church leaders and even our parents would like us believe that only after we discover where we came from can we look forward to where we are going. Whether this is true or not is unimportant. Instead, it's the philosophy involved in the wake of such assumptions that is important. It's the concept that two people can look at the same data and deduce two vastly different origins, and then bicker about what that means for our future. What if this is our only future? Why can't we make acceptance our future?

Where did we come from? Is it really as easy as saying God created us? Or even that we have evolved from monkeys? No, because we've made it more complicated than it needs to be. Instead we have Flat Earthers, Geocentrists, Young Earth Creationists, Old Earth Creationists, Gap Creationists, Day-Age Creationists, Progressive Creationists, Evolutionary Creationists, Theistic Evolutionists, Agnostic Evolutionists and Materialist Evolutionists. Each of these groups of people are one point along the spectrum between creation and evolution. Each of these groups upholds certain truths and compromises others in order for their beliefs to conform to the data...

I am a scientist, a geophysicist, to be specific, and soon a meteorologist. I don't claim to know everything there is about how we came into being, but that's not the point of science. Science is often misconstrued to be the means by which we find truth when instead it is much simpler than that: it is the testing and observation of natural phenomena out of curiosity. Scientists are just curious, they're not looking for eternal truths (unless it involves grant money). Frankly, I am not generally curious about where I came from, or by what means I have been made to be. I know that I exist and can feel that I exist for a purpose. What I am curious about is controversy, and thus is my curiosity in the debate between evolution and creation science.

For all intensive purposes, I am a Theistic Evolutionist. I cannot deny the geologic record, genetics or the fossil record. I don't think astronomers are possessed by Satan just like I don't believe God is a deceiver. I do believe in God, and see nothing wrong with believing that He created our universe like it has been scientifically shown to have been created. I see nothing wrong believing that the solar system and Earth were likewise created by Him via the processes science has theorized and can witness in the geologic record. I also see nothing wrong in believing that evolution is yet another process God created and utilized that can be witnessed by science. The way I see it, God set about these processes, that they do not in fact deny His existence.

Do they confirm it, though? I don't think so. I think that's the real trouble here--and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. For those of us who believe in God, it is important for us to maintain our faith and "give credit where credit is due" and for some that means seeing something unique and special when there may not be anything unique and special. I have heard it said several times that a person would like to believe in God in order to feel special, to feel like they have been created and set forth with a purpose instead of just having gotten lucky. By accepting science (which is based on observable phenomena of natural causes, remember?) we are not denying the supernatural, or God. Science cannot deny or enrich our belief in God, or in anything supernatural, by it's very definition. When we talk about scientific theories we are talking about "a comprehensive explanation of some aspect of nature that is supported by a vast body of evidence" not a guess or a hunch like the definition of the day-to-day usage of the word "theory." A belief in God is extra--it goes above and beyond all else--and beautiful if I do say so myself, and should not affect scientific theory.

Theistic Evolutionists are notorious for recognizing this distinction and dealing with it accordingly. They separate religious views with scientific observation; it is one thing to look up at the night sky and say "wow, I'm glad I'm alive and have such a beautiful world to live in" and a completely other thing to make religion a science. I don't expect everyone to do that, or anyone for that matter, but it's what I've chose to do--to see science for what it is, and religion too. However, I do expect people to be more accepting of each other's viewpoints.

*My apologies if any of this is too choppy to understand/follow my train of thought.

Purpose.

2010-02-07T22:23:00.000-08:00

Somewhere you had to have asked me to care, but clearly I was too busy caring for everyone else to notice.

Whatever is happening: it will stop.

Whatever you're feeling: it will end.

Whatever you are afraid of: it will go away.

But when none of that helps you face the sun, come to me.

I promise: I care.

2010-02-02T23:51:00.000-08:00

File this under...

2010-02-02T16:10:00.000-08:00

"There's no sense in beating a dead horse."

If it's dead, it's dead. If you need proof, walk away instead of beating it. If it is still alive, the horse will rise up and either chase after you or run in the opposite direction.

Pray that it runs in the opposite direction; it's easier, trust me.

I want to lie on the concrete just after it rained, just before it does again.

2010-01-28T01:38:00.001-08:00

I don't ever want to know what may come tomorrow. That may make you think of me as a hypocrite but bear with me...

When I went to bed last night, the first thing I thought about was the Second Coming, about how much I have forgotten that it could literally be tomorrow--in an hour, a minute, a second from now. I am a sinner, yes, but I feel secure in saying that I would not be scared if it were to happen tomorrow, simply because I have lived my life not knowing...

I am a gypsy who has to and has conformed to a conformist world. At every turn there is someone asking us to define ourselves, explain ourselves--to even "be" ourselves, as if they have a better idea of who we should be then we do! You can't tell someone that you don't know who you are, what you want to be or where you're going--that's unacceptable in this world. "You must have some sort of goal for yourself, where do you see yourself in ten years?" Happy. I'll make the best of and be the best I can be at whatever you throw at me (exception: calculus). At every fork I will sit cross-legged and draw in the dirt while thinking about which path I see as the most worth my time, effort, patience and love. "Is it worth it?"

I chose to go to college because it was what was expected of me at the time. Do I regret it? No. But EVERY. DAY. I sit at those crossroads and recalculate whether or not it's worth it to me to stay here. Let's be honest--I joke about being heartless because I have the capacity to be; if I wanted to leave and never come back, I sure as hell could. But so far I've passed judgement that it's worth it if I stay put. Will it always be that way? I don't want to know. I want to be able to wake up every morning with a fresh perspective on what Leah's life could be.

I woke up last week and knew that if I didn't take this chance, I was going to regret it. It's worth the money, the stress...the change. I didn't realize the impact it will make until now. If I go...I will be living in another country for four months. Another country that speaks another language, has another culture and is just another. It's going to put me a semester behind and years ahead at the same time. Will I ever return to Iceland? I don't know. Would I want to? I don't know. Why did I chose there, of all places? Do I really need a reason? I mean, granted it is pretty damn perfect: the semester is the same, classes taught in English, emphasis on geology and geophysics...but do I really need a reason? Not for Leah, just for everyone around her. If I don't go, I will have finally applied to something important to ME and been rejected. I didn't apply for any of the scholarships I have, and the ones I did apply to were simply listed in front of me. I haven't gone into an interview only to be shown the door afterwards. That might sound all sorts of conceited, but it's the truth. My grandpa recently told me I was too good, that I needed a vice. THIS is my vice! Not. Knowing. Not wanting to know, just following some gut feeling that may or may not reveal a new piece of the puzzle that is my future.

I could speculate as to how this has impacted my relationships in the past and present, but that would defeat the whole purpose of such a revelation! I...I came across a canyon that I had to cross, and after little contemplation I up and decided that I had to step out and either a bridge would magically appear or I would fall to my death. Complete trust in the Plan. What happens always happens for a reason. It may hurt like hell sometimes, but I'll be damned if it is not worth it.

"Stand on the edge with me, hold back your fear and see: nothing is real 'til it's gone."

I don't want to wait until after-the-fact to ask "What if?" I don't want to know what tomorrow brings until tomorrow comes! I could fall into love, out of love, fall and scrap my knee or find out I have cancer, laugh until I can't see straight or lose my best friend! Who knows?!

THAT is LEAH.

Anyone else is an impostor. A forced facade. Anyone else is a product of being expected to have a plan, to take care of things and be taken care of, or to know what/who/where it is I want. Anyone else only exists in order to not let people down. Why should I have to do that, you say? Because I am alive...because I didn't know this before...because I am young...because I am loved...because I am gullible...because I'm a saint...because I'm a sinner...because they gave birth to me...because I'm intelligent...because I'm the only one here that can openly accept that I am two different people.

"Now tell me, Princess, when did you last let your heart decide?"

2010-01-18T21:23:00.000-08:00

A Dustland fairytale beginning

Or just another white trash county kiss

In '61, long brown hair and foolish eyes

He looked just like you'd want him to

Some kind of slick chrome American Prince

A blue jean serenade and moon river, what you do to me

And I don't believe you.

Saw Cinderella in a party dress

But she was looking for a nightgown

I saw the devil wrapping up his hands

He's getting ready for the showdown

I saw the minute that I turned away

I got my money on a palm tonight

Change came in disguise of revelation, set his soul on fire

She says she always knew he'd come around

And the decades disappear like sinking ships

But we persevere, God gives us hope

But we still fear what we don't know

The mind is poison

Castles in the sky sit stranded, vandalized

A drawbridge is closin'

Saw Cinderella in a party dress

But she was looking for a nightgown

I saw the devil wrapping up his hands

He's getting ready for the showdown

I saw the ending when they turned the page

I took my money and I ran away

Straight to the valley of the great divide

Out where the dreams are high

Out where the wind don't blow

Out here, the good girls die

And the sky won't snow

Out here the birds don't sing

Out here the fields don't grow

Out here the bell don't ring

Out here the good girls die

Now Cinderella, don't you go to sleep

It's such a bitter form of refuge

Oh, don't you know, the kingdom's under siege

And everybody needs you?

Is there still magic in the midnight sung

Or did you leave it back in '61?

In the cadence of a young man's eyes

I wouldn't dream so high.

-Dustland Fairytale, The Killers

Clearly.

2010-01-13T21:38:00.000-08:00

39.2% of me would like to remind everyone out there that I am not a lost sheep; I know exactly where I am and where I'm going and I'm happy with that. You don't have to be.

The remaining 60.8% could care less and therefore reserves the right not to even try and discuss the matter with you.

Also.

I am a Libertarian, not a Liberal. L's are not always EBIL ;)

I don't like Prop 8/102 and never will.

Evolution vs. Creationism is really fun, thanks.

Your concern is appreciated but not needed.

But yours is.

End of story.

P.S. Shouldn't it be a good sign that I'm allowing you to keep my records? Besides, the last thing I need is for Flagstaff to get some idea of who I've been inside of the Church.

Dear AP,

2010-01-11T20:55:00.000-08:00

I hate that you're so far away, and I can't wait to see you this weekend!!

I'm known for my spacey moments, and what was Freshman year but one long, drawn out trip through the universe? I wasn't aware of how many things I would have to figure out when I moved away from home. Just looking back...it boggles my mind that I'm still here! The last thing on my mind was making friends...which may be why I can't remember how we met. I didn't figure it would last. Now I'm sure it will. We're BFFE's, right? :P

I can't name anyone else that I'd like to live with, who I could live with. I can't name anyone else that I'd like to watch romantic comedies with, or movies about 'hauntings.' LOL.

I can't thank you enough for saving my life. No, that's what you did. I was in the process of transferring to ASU... I would not be in the same position. I would not have met you, or any of my geology buddies. Heck, I probably wouldn't even be in geology! I'd be living at home, still stressed out about all of their problems, not even paying attention to the ones I've got right in front of me. I would not be me!

I owe you a great deal. I miss our crazy late night trips to Taco Bell and going grocery shopping with you. It's not the same with Sam. You always allowed me to be goofy, and you were goofy with me! I need that! I love that!

I can't wait to see (read: stand outside the Temple) you get married!! Know that you can come to me for anything. Never hold back, Heaven knows I won't. ;)

Much love!

Hey Jealousy

2010-01-11T20:35:00.000-08:00

So I really like where I am in life right now.

I have the strangest relationships with people. I may not be in love, but I certainly am loved and do love. I don't feel like anything is missing. Good or bad?

I've got a routine again. School. Working out. Eating. Sleeping. I'm taking care of myself. Now I just need a job and an apartment and life would be exceptional! Throw in Oklahoma and I'd be on Cloud 9.

Let's keep it this way, shall we? If things are going to get cloudy...there better be actual clouds involved.

Usefulness.

2010-01-06T08:07:00.000-08:00

It helps if you have some.

Unfortunately, we all are burdens to someone at some point in our lives, maybe even in our day-to-day lives. Here are some good examples of incidences when it is best not to be one:

*Stuck on a deserted island
*Working at a fast food joint
*Making $20/hr wheeling 'disabled' people around airports
*Babysitting/Whenever someone relies on you to watch/handle their children
*Teaching Spanish
*Plane crash
*Elected President of the United States
*Asked to save the world from an asteroid

2010-01-03T01:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes
What we need is the Illusion
To believe we can fly
To believe we are free
To believe in fantasy.

Sometimes
All we need is a sense of Hope
In a new tomorrow
In fate and forgiveness
In justice, faithfulness.

Sometimes
We need Time to be on our side
For last celebrations
For first and brief hellos
For enduring goodbyes.

Sometimes
It’s all we can do to Breathe in
When we want to collapse
When knowledge isn’t sure
When they are waiting for it.

Sometimes
The last thing we want is to Trust
That the future will come soon
That we were meant to lead
That this is what is Right.

Sometimes
What is Right isn’t what’s Secure
We need to take that Plunge
We need to Follow our Heart
We need to Stand Up Tall.

We'll do it all again in 2010!

2009-12-31T20:52:00.000-08:00

Slept through 2009? So did I. But it's okay, there's redemption! Just watch JibJab's review and resolve to do more in 2010!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Most Anticipated of 2010

2009-12-30T23:01:00.000-08:00

Titles made clicky!

Alice in Wonderland - Tim Burton. Johnny Depp. Insanity. Need I say more?

Daybreakers - I need a vampire revamp...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 - DUH.

How to Train Your Dragon - Promises to be cute and action packed!

Inception - "Your mind is the scene of the crime."

Iron Man 2 - Cute and action packed as well... ;)

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time - The fact that it's made by Disney turns me off but... it still looks good.

Rapunzel - I have yet to see "The Princess and the Frog" but I've always been a fan of Disney animation.

Robin Hood - Russel Crowe!!!1!

The Book of Eli - Epic. Just darn epic.

The Last Airbender - M. Night does one of my favorite cartoons? I can't miss this...

The Wolfman - Arf, arf.

Tooth Fairy - Because Angela love "The Rock."

Toy Story 3 - Dear Twilight, let's switch mmkay? You get June 18th and Toy Story 3 gets June 30th...my birthday...yes... Please?

Tron Legacy - Why not?

X-Men: First Class - I wish there was a trailer out for this...but I've always been an X-Men fan! Always.

I Predicted the Weather!

2009-12-04T14:50:00.000-08:00

Not really, but it feels like it.

Last Tuesday night I attended the second meeting of the Northern Arizona chapter of the American Meteorological Society! After pizza and soda (classy, I know) the meeting began with the election of officers. Weather-heads being the ambitious type, the only election to be held was for Secretary, myself as one of the candidates. Since there weren't any candidates for Trea$urer, the acting President (now President) had emailed me and the other candidate beforehand in hopes that one of us would step down and take the spot. I was the only one to email him back and restated that I'd be happy to step down during the meeting, if it meant that I was still able to be an officer and to avoid wasting time on an election. The other guy never emailed back...and didn't show up at the meeting...leaving me as the acting Secretary and Trea$urer until he comes back or we have a majority of regular members and can hold an election. That sounds really lame, I know, but it makes me happy.

After that, however, came the fun stuff. The Vice President works at the NWS Flagstaff-Bellemont office and gave a presentation about El Nino. I was completely unaware that there had already been a spike in ocean temperatures and now there has been another, so I was enthralled during the whole thing, which lasted easily an hour and a half. Towards the end, however, the discussion was more focused on weather prediction models and spaghetti diagrams, a topic that has never really interested me. It was cool, however, to see how the predictions showed an opportunity for some good precipitation come early next week which was not reflected in the 7 day forecast yet. It felt like I was sitting there predicting the weather--I understood everything that was happening on the screen and everything the presenter was saying and the repercussions. Then today I see a winter weather notification on Facebook that suggests 12-24 inches of snow for late Sunday night! Holy crap, did I feel good. It's a really small victory, but a victory for me nonetheless, and the way it made me feel was just awesome. I felt like I was "at home" with meteorology, that I was meant to study it and that all the knowledge I've gained over the years will one day be worth it. Just so cool.

Live like you'll never live it twice!

2009-11-25T01:17:00.000-08:00

Hmm...is it worth mentioning that I've updated/cleaned up my portfolio? I think the pictures look better now and are better categorized and are better picks than before. Oh and BETTER.

Tell me what you think!

By the way, I'm doing a friend's family portraits in December, and can always use more 'models' to practice with! Hint, hint.

I have concerns.

2009-11-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

I can't exactly say that this post pertains to any particular person in the sense that I cannot actually talk to any one person about any one thing. This is just for the general population to see and discern for themselves, and hopefully offer advice as they see fit. It's not that I don't feel like I can come right up to you and ask for help (yes it is) but that I've missed my cue somewhere and stay up restless to try and figure things out; I'm desperate for your thoughts, but scared of actually hearing them.

I've lost one friend already this week and am in an emotional limbo--I'm neither upset nor content. He was--and maybe someday once again will be--one of the best friends I have had in my life. In fact, just the other day I was commenting to someone or another about how I felt blessed to have come through all the mistakes I've made in making friends in the past and to have finally found a group I felt at home with, that I could be friends with them for literally forever. Apparently that was premature. I still make mistakes, and have a lot of work to do in the levelheadedness sector. Please work with me, eh? There is a heavy line between no emotion and too much emotion and I'm having a hard time finding my sweet spot. However, I am not aiming this at that particular friend, but rather at the friends that still remain. I am not sure if it's that I've never lost my temper with you or that you can just go on and ignore me when I do, but you're still around. I wish I could explain to you how appreciative I am of that fact. I am an optimistic enough person that I wouldn't see it as the end of the world if you decided to terminate our relationship as well, but in all honesty I would rather that not happen.
Please talk to me, even if it means yelling. I would like to know that you hear me, even when that means hearing that I am wrong. When I apologize, refresh my memory about why we are friends: are you here to make me a better person or to help me just make it through? Say. Something. And let me help you as well.
It is safe to say that I am no longer looking for any romantic interest from this arrangement anymore. That is not to be dramatic or irritable or really in anyway negative. In fact, I particularly like this idea a ton better than the previous. To think that I hoped that one day you would fall as much in love with me that I was with you was just absurd. If you had changed your mind down the road and decided you loved me as well I know for a fact that I wouldn't have been in love with you anymore! Why would I stick around for someone who, after so many years, up and decided that maybe I was actually the type? You were never my last choice, and I'd rather be in love with someone who's heart is immovable for another, than someone who considers me just the practical choice. That's not fair, and this time I'm being selfish with the fact. I like this idea of being just friends a lot better--there were far too many problems to be worked out otherwise, this way we can just accept each other and move on with our lives. This helps with the next concern as well, coincidentally.
We've established time and time again that I am not the type of woman that actively searches for a boyfriend or potential husband; that is just simply the truth of the matter. However, that is not to say that I don't wish to date or get to know members of the opposite sex. I have found that more often than not I get along better with men than with women, the reasoning being for most people that there is less drama. I beg to differ, but not here. I don't really know why, and don't particularly care because I'm not going to discriminate either. When the opportunity presents itself for me to meet, date and/or make a new friend I'm going to take it. I'm seizing this opportunity. I also expect there to be plenty more opportunities in my lifetime. I mean, like duh!
I am going to the University of Oklahoma whether you like it or not, and maybe even ASU. We'll just have to see. I can't tell you whether or not I'm going to ring the doorbell when I haven't even seen what the house looks like. Thank you for stopping me from going to Texas Tech though. I'm sorry it took a blue Infinity going 10 miles under the speed limit to make me realize how much I appreciate living in Arizona.
My Book of Mormon knowledge is at an all-time low at exactly the moment that I need to know it the most. Just think of it this way: I'm converting with you.
Pepper has diarrhea and a tumor. The former condition is fairly easy to take care of (he had celery after a long time of not having celery and therefore can't have any fresh fruits/vegetables until it clears up) and such treatment is under way. The tumor however... I cried for three days when Rudy died. Why am I not a better mom to them to at least be there (here) when they need me the most? I'll die if Pepper dies while I'm not here.
As for the rest of you that can't help me with any of these situations: count how many times I said "any!"

And suddenly I have an overwhelming feeling of relief...

Today in Drudge.

2009-11-13T11:31:00.000-08:00

Hero.

Veteran.

Sherlock.

And NASA found water on the moon. Again. Actually, again again again, but who's counting? The Ares worked and I think it's safe to say it's worth it to go back to the moon now. But... "No bucks, no Buck Rogers." (By the way, I really hate Twilight right now. Every time I tried to look something up about the moon I got gossip from the set of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon.")

Hot. Doom.

The World is Effing Ending, People.

2009-11-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

And I. Need. To. See. It.

$10 says the POTUS' speech about how humankind is one family during this "time of crisis" is not nearly as epic as the one in Armageddon (or even this one in Independence Day) Also, as far as I can see--the world actually ends, and although I was quite depressed for some time that Bruce Willis said he wasn't going to do any save-the-world-smash'em-up movies, I rather like the idea. It fits with the whole California burning and breaking up into the ocean thing. Oh, geology, how funny you can be when people are silly.

Dear OU,

2009-11-10T23:13:00.000-08:00

You don't know me yet, but one day we're going to be great friends. I have only recently realized how perfect our union is, and how dumb I could have been to screw it up. I could have gone to Texas--no, I really could have--but I didn't. If I had I wouldn't have realized how wonderful geophysics is and that you house the NSSL. You have a graduate program for me, despite living in one of the least interesting places for geology, and now you have Josh Wurman.

I should probably write this letter to whomever gave him that boat-load grant for all his DOW's, but I'm not going to. Why? Because I expect that from the government. Not from Oklahoma though. Remember when you said you were going to secede if Texas did? Despite all those nasty jokes Texans make about how Texas can't fall off into the ocean because Oklahoma sucks you stuck by Texas. You don't hold grudges, Oklahoma. You're innocent and kind...everything everyone wants in a University. I, however, am not a University and do hold grudges. Josh Wurman is at least number 3 on my list. I mean seriously, have you watched an episode of "Storm Chasers?" Have you talked to the man? IN PERSON?! He wears SHORTS! Nasty, khaki short shorts. He's not even a geologist!

No, no, no, I do not want you to get rid of him (not like you could anyways). Keep him there as long as you can! I'd love to meet him, I'd love to be on the Vortex2 team (what a silly name...ahem). And don't forget, I could still go to Texas.

Sincerely,

Josh Wurman's biggest fan. (I'm sorry, TIV.)